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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I do not support all women. Some of you are very mean for no reason.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,658

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

I have tasted academic validation. I have tasted romantic love. I recommend getting a hobby.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Answering your cell when you don’t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.

Spotted on Telegram:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Just landed via Instagram:

When people are telling me a story about their life it often reminds me of a much better story from my life.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Really miss the drama of being able to angrily shut a flip phone.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

Spotted on Instagram:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Live now on WeChat:

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

Just landed via Reddit:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Breaking via Threads:

I want an apartment so big, it changes the way I laugh.

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the classic love saga: from "you take my breath away" to "why are you breathing?" 🤦‍♂️❤️

breathing, change, couple, everyone, everything, familiarity, humor, humor about love, long-term, loud, love, marriage, oh, relationship, too

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

0

5 months ago

action, actions, behavior, confusion, drive, frustration, insanity, sense, trying, understanding
I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

0

2 months ago

best, glad, happiness, health, humor, insurance, joke, laughter, medicine, sucks
What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

0

1 month ago

age, asking, cook, cooking, friend, humor, learn, pasta, portion, village, whole
Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

0

2 months ago

cream, dad, family, guilt, honesty, humor, i, ice, ice cream, kids, me, parenting, rest, snack
I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

0

2 months ago

bagel, cheese, craving, cream, cream cheese, food, humor, i, need, self-care, snack, therapy
Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

0

2 months ago

Boston, English, humor, kid, little, misunderstanding, mom, plane, speak, travel

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Slack this month:

Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

64 shares on X this month:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

40 shares on Twitch this month:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

29 shares on Discord this month:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

60 shares on Threads this month:

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

39 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

58 shares on Instagram this month:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

72 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t let anyone treat you like pond water. You are Fiji water, okay?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

I found out my husband was cheating on me at a Linkin Park concert. We tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Adulting is getting excited to go home and get into bed.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

This year, the feliz is not navidading.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Men invented pool tables so they could watch each other bend over.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Just shared via Pinterest:

He took my last fry, your honor.

Just landed via X:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

That moment when a zombie out for brains walks past you.

Making waves on X:

I love beating a dead horse with the girls. There is nothing better than a Saturday night rehashing, and never letting that horse rest in peace.

Going viral on TikTok:

Imagine being a giraffe and having to throw up.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trying to make sense of other people’s actions will drive you to insanity.

I’m glad laughter is the best medicine because my insurance sucks.

What age do you learn to cook pasta for one and not for a whole village? Asking for a friend.

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨