Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I wish someone would light up the way Siri does when I say, “Hey.”

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

My ex thinks I’m with someone else, someone else thinks I’m with my ex, everyone wonders where I am. Here I am. Just enjoying my own life.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I made you something special for Mother’s Day, my kid threatened.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,469

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Making waves on YouTube:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Just shared via WeChat:

Staying weird for my own sanity.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I didn’t ghost you, I saved you from me.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You can do laundry every day and still be behind on laundry.

Spotted on Messenger:

Of course, my summer body is ready; it’s the same as my winter body but sweatier.

Trending via Pinterest:

Don’t scare me, I fart easily.

Just shared via Snapchat:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Going viral on Snapchat:

No haunted houses for me this year. If I wanna be frightened, I’ll just look at my 401k.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sometimes people come into your life — and they need to stop doing that.

Funny 9pm quotes

Funny 9pm quotes are the perfect way to spice up your evening vibe 🌙✨ Whether you’re winding down or just getting started on some late-night laughs 😂🍿, these witty gems will have you chuckling before bedtime. Ready to turn that 9pm slump into a comedy show? Let’s dive into some hilarious moments that make the night way more entertaining 🎉🌟!

New funny 9pm quotes 👇

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

4 weeks ago

9pm, activity, after, age, anything, bedtime, evening, fun, humor, i, laziness, night, want, where
Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

4 weeks ago

9pm, adulthood, age, bedtime, humor, midnight, reality, sleep, transition, welcome
I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

4 weeks ago

6am, 9pm, after, age, am, answered, humorous, i, late, late night, night, old, response, sleep, text
You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

1 month ago

40, 9pm, age, bedtime, humor, joke, know, man, night, over, past, real, reality, Santa
I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

1 month ago

9pm, activity, flow, gal, humor, night, parallel, parking, preference, spontaneity
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

1 month ago

9pm, born, fun, humor, i, night, party, tired, wild

All funny 9pm quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

96 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

God, on inventing the tiger: “Okay, so this is going to be some kind of cat that likes to eat Frosted Flakes.”

77 shares on X this month:

Shaking my head like an Etch a Sketch to get my thoughts right.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

17 shares on WeChat this month:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m on a spinning rock in outer space, and I have to answer work emails.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

The one thing to know about me is I always get the last laugh. And oh yes, it’s maniacal.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Lowkey wanna fall in love, but Monday to Friday is work, Saturday is laundry, Sunday is mental prep for Monday. The butterflies in my stomach are actually decomposing.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,708

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I was disappointed to learn today that my request for a sabbatical was rejected. Apparently that’s “not how marriage works.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Just because I loved you at one point doesn’t mean I will always love you. I’m not Whitney Houston.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I wait all week for the weekend just to aggressively do nothing in five different outfits.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

When I’m done eating… I have to show my hands to my cat, like I’m a blackjack dealer.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I can’t believe bedtime used to be a punishment.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness simply didn’t know where to go shopping.

Just shared via Discord:

“The average CEO reads 52 books a year.” Yeah, because they’ve got nothing else to do.

Spotted on Threads:

Can I just skip to the part in my life where I’m rich and happily in love?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

We should bring gargoyles back, more buildings need freaky little guys on them.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Going bananas on Instagram:

Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Someone just honked to get me out of my parking spot faster… so now I have to sit here until both of us are dead.

Live now on Facebook:

Probably the most humiliating thing that can happen when you die is that you come back as a fitted-sheet ghost.

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