Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Applying for jobs feels like auditioning to be enthusiastic about a blind date you haven’t even met yet.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

I had a million opportunities to waste money this year, and I took them all. In fact, even when there wasn’t an opportunity, I created one.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

I’m sick of living through history!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Jan 2, 2026

3,621

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Trending via Messenger:

I’ve started dating myself exclusively but it’s not working out.

Spotted on Snapchat:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Making waves on WeChat:

“Alcohol and beautiful women” is apparently not an appropriate answer when you are asked about your weaknesses in a job interview.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Freshly posted on Slack:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Going viral on Messenger:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Making waves on WeChat:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Funny 9pm quotes

Funny 9pm quotes are the perfect way to spice up your evening vibe 🌙✨ Whether you’re winding down or just getting started on some late-night laughs 😂🍿, these witty gems will have you chuckling before bedtime. Ready to turn that 9pm slump into a comedy show? Let’s dive into some hilarious moments that make the night way more entertaining 🎉🌟!

New funny 9pm quotes 👇

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

0

2 months ago

9pm, activity, after, age, anything, bedtime, evening, fun, humor, i, laziness, night, want, where
Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

0

2 months ago

9pm, adulthood, age, bedtime, humor, midnight, reality, sleep, transition, welcome
I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

0

2 months ago

6am, 9pm, after, age, am, answered, humorous, i, late, late night, night, old, response, sleep, text
You know Santa isn’t real because no man over 40 is out past 9PM.

0

2 months ago

40, 9pm, age, bedtime, humor, joke, know, man, night, over, past, real, reality, Santa
I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

0

2 months ago

9pm, activity, flow, gal, humor, night, parallel, parking, preference, spontaneity
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

0

2 months ago

9pm, born, fun, humor, i, night, party, tired, wild

All funny 9pm quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Slack this month:

Tried to sleep by reading a boring book and now it’s suddenly the most interesting book.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

64 shares on WeChat this month:

If your girlfriend doesn’t go a little psycho on you from time to time, then she’s not in love with you, sweetie.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

I love surprising my metabolism. It never knows what’s coming—either absolute starvation or 1,000+ calories all at once.

82 shares on TikTok this month:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

47 shares on Snapchat this month:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

88 shares on Telegram this month:

I may be a beginner at some things, but I have a black belt in shopping.

71 shares on Threads this month:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

It whistles, doesn’t it? Your head when it’s windy.

59 shares on Threads this month:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, no.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s a gangster until their doorbell rings.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

We can put a man on the moon but we can’t find a good way to drink wine from a lying down position.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Opening up to a woman is like talking to the police, anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Spotted on WeChat:

Not now, kitten. Mommy’s destroying and betraying herself for nothing.

Breaking via Reddit:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Live now on Facebook:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I was dropped as an adult.

Making waves on Twitch:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Trending via Pinterest:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Trending via Messenger:

You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

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