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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Fitness influencer: It’s important to listen to your body. Body: You’re old. And you want lasagna.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Please don’t ever speak to me about math. I’ve moved on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2430 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,592

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,592

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Threads:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

Making waves on TikTok:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Making waves on X:

Freddie Mercury, Venus Williams, and Bruno Mars walk into a bar. They didn’t planet that way.

Going viral on X:

Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2430 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,592

Funny Quotes Topics

15,261

Funny Quotes Images

12,592

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I asked myself if I was the problem and we said no.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I don’t have a yoga mat, but I have a Twister mat, and it’s the same thing.

Trending via WeChat:

At the club asking for Ibuprofen.

Trending via Discord:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Shared recently on Reddit:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Did you get that psychic damage I sent you?

Shared recently on Threads:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Spotted on Twitch:

I’m so sick of TV shows and movies where there are no likable characters. I don’t need to spend an hour with people I hate, I already have my life.

Just landed via Threads:

An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

Reported on Facebook:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

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