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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I hate when I forget to say something during an argument. Like, hey, let’s argue again, I got better material now.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Hello 911? Yes, my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I like deadlines. They make me functional.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Imagine how scary sharks would be if they wore necklaces made out of our teeth.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I will never trust a cake transport box enough to just hold it by the handle.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Not all people have bad neighbors. The ones next door have a great one.

Spotted on Discord:

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Shared recently on Discord:

“Machines will soon be as smart as people.” Ok, but which people?

Spotted on Telegram:

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

Making waves on Facebook:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Making waves on YouTube:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Just shared via X:

Am I the only person who would rather almost fall over carrying the shopping than walk a second time?

Breaking via Discord:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I wish every day had 30,000 hours, and that I had unlimited Adderall and was unemployed.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Funny cholesterol quotes

Funny cholesterol quotes offer a humorous take on a topic that’s often taken too seriously. 🥓😂 From witty remarks about guilty pleasures to playful jabs at health-conscious choices, these quotes bring laughter to the ups and downs of managing cholesterol. Enjoy a chuckle while thinking about those heart-healthy (or not-so-healthy) indulgences! 🥓😂

New funny cholesterol quotes 👇

All funny cholesterol quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Twitch this month:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

78 shares on Discord this month:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

36 shares on Threads this month:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

42 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes I need a break from myself but it’s like, ugh, everywhere I go there I am.

26 shares on X this month:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

18 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s pretty apt that the ‘i’ is in the middle of ‘hurricane’.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t be coming into my house and causing big spikes of cortisol.

23 shares on YouTube this month:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Men only have money the first month of dating, that’s recruitment budget, never confuse it with operational budget.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,527

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Telling the guy next to me on the subway that I’m not even ticklish, so don’t bother trying.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Tiime isn’t on my side, it’s on my face, wrinkling my forehead.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Women are obsessed with Love Island, but when me and my boys do it in real life, we’re disgusting cheating dogs?

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Everyone hates on Gollum but he had the right idea: become a hermit, collect jewels, swim naked in lakes and pools, occasionally hiss at people who try to make you go places.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

People my age are parenting actual humans, and I’m over here promising myself snacks if I fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

I am single, please disturb me!

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.

Just landed via Slack:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Making waves on Facebook:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Relationship so bad you start relating to Taylor Swift songs.

Freshly posted on X:

If, I, want to, put, a comma, there, then, I will put, the comma, there.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

IKEA assembly instructions should come with a glossary of Swedish swear words.

Spreading quickly via X:

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Live now on Slack:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Going viral on Messenger:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Just shared via Twitch:

Sometimes I just want someone to hug me and say “I know it’s hard, but you’ll be okay. Here’s a coffee and a million dollars.”

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