It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

Commentary:
Looks like even the polar bear has hit snooze on winter! ❄️🐾 Time to give it a pep talk and maybe a cup of hot cocoa. Remember, even polar bears need a little TLC to hit the road in style! 🚗😄

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Commentary:
"Dear Winter, your free trial has ended and I am not interested in signing up for a full season subscription. Thank you, next! ❄️🚫 #WinterCancellation"

Summer is the time when it's too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Summer is the time when it’s too hot to do what it was too cold to do in winter.

Commentary:
"Ah, the magical season of summer, where suddenly doing chores feels like a form of extreme sports! 😅☀️ Who knew that the same task that felt like a freezer challenge in winter would turn into a sauna adventure in summer?"

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Commentary:
"Kids these days, always so generous! 😷🤒 Who needs gifts when you can get a cold instead? Talk about a special delivery! 🎁😂 #ParentingPerks"

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's dishing out compliments with a side of sarcasm! 🔥❄️ Maybe next time, less microwave, more microwaveable hearts! 😂 #ColdAsIce #HotStuff"

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

If it turns cold one more time, I’m gonna put the Christmas tree back up.

Commentary:
"Looks like Mother Nature can't decide between winter and spring, but hey, why not enjoy the holiday spirit all year round? 🎄❄️ Who needs a Christmas in July when you can have Christmas in March? 🤣 #MotherNatureMakeUpYourMind"

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Commentary:
"Looks like the frosty weather isn't just turning noses red! ❄️📸 Don't worry, folks, those 'icy' nudes are just a result of extreme temperatures! 😂🥶 #ColdButConfident"

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it's freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it's nowhere to be seen.

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Commentary:
"Well, it looks like even the Coca Cola truck needs a vacation from the heat! 🎄❄️☀️ Who knew it had a summer break too? Maybe it's off chilling on a beach somewhere, sipping on a cold Coke! 🏖️🥤 #SunsOutTrucksOut"

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Commentary:
"Spring: the brief period when we shift from grumbling about freezing to griping about sweating. Mother Nature's way of keeping us on our toes 🌬️🌞 #SpringStruggles"

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Commentary:
"Who knew tomato soup could be so versatile? 🍅❄️🍸 It's a culinary adventure – cold, on the rocks, with a splash of vodka! Perfect for those moments when you want to warm your soul, but also keep it chill and sophisticated. Cheers to creative soup concoctions! 🥂😄"