Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m actually really peace-loving, but then there are other people.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

A degree in international law is about as real as a degree in Dothraki.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

You know IT have given up when the error message reads, ‘Something went wrong’.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

The best thing about driving in the snow is staying home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Jan 6, 2026

3,527

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Breaking via TikTok:

Be nice to your children’s teachers. Especially elementary ones, cause kids have loose lips and that teacher has all the dirt on you.

Trending via Discord:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I’m a good listener. If you’re interesting.

Just landed via Telegram:

I love replying “Need him” when someone posts their boyfriend on their Instagram story.

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m so single, I have no one to drunk text.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Bloopers in movie credits is a lost art form.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

Live now on YouTube:

I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Unpopular opinion: Landlords should not be able to increase rent unless they’re upgrading the apartment.

Funny congratulations quotes

Funny congratulations quotes bring a burst of laughter 🎉😂 to every achievement, turning celebrations into unforgettable moments! Whether it’s a promotion, graduation, or new adventure, these witty words add a cheeky twist that makes applause even sweeter 👏😉. Ready to spread smiles and good vibes? Let’s dive into the funniest ways to say congrats and keep the party vibes rolling! 🎊🎈

New funny congratulations quotes 👇

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

0

1 week ago

congratulations, getting, humor, light, red, red light, sarcasm, special, traffic
Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

0

2 months ago

breakup, broke, congratulations, emotional, emotional support, enough, humor, know, me, needs, people, relationship, support, therapy
I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

0

2 months ago

composition, congratulations, flattery, humor, i, post, read, sexy
Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

0

2 months ago

congratulations, driving, humor, light, me, past, rage, red, red light, road, road rage, sarcasm, special, speeding
Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

0

2 months ago

being, clothing, congratulations, disgust, fashion, humor, name, piece, sweater, year

All funny congratulations quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on WeChat this month:

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

97 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

Who called it America and not the fast food and the furious?

17 shares on Facebook this month:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Welcome to your 40s, your level of cleaning is directly related to whether your guest can see without readers.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Stomach: I will now demonstrate a blue whale’s mating call.

93 shares on TikTok this month:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

21 shares on Discord this month:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

88 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

In a relationship with my bedroom fan.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know the password to my work computer? Or how to do my job?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If you knock down a policeman, they’ll get backup.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

20’s: what even is a hangover? 40’s: puts on sunglasses to open fridge…

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m planning to eat the rich, but can I sub out fries for a salad?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The way Christmas shopping expects me to have money right now is, honestly, disrespectful.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

May the Force be with you… especially in Monday meetings.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Gravestone inscription: “Hey guys, I’m going to be taking a little break from social media”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

They should invent a day where it all works out.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Before you laugh at kids who believe in Santa, remember there are grown men who believe that Cristiano Ronaldo is a better footballer than Lionel Messi.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

A designated hitter in baseball is the one who has to hit for everyone in case the team is drunk.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Yeah, bro, she’s probably just not using her phone right now, for the first time ever in her whole life.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Live now on Telegram:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I will improve my life after I doom scroll a little more. Yes.

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

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