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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I didn’t mean to mimic your voice, I just had to know what it felt like to sound like that.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

We always asked “where is Waldo” but never “who is Waldo hiding from”.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

If you like true crime stories, I highly recommend the history of the Catholic Church.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Experts say that human interaction is important for brain health but I’m willing to risk it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

The agony of thinking you’re finished doing the dishes, only to turn around and, to your horror, the pot.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Me, first week as a volunteer firefighter thinking we only rescue cats: We’re going where?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

9 minutes ago

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Just shared via Telegram:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Trending via TikTok:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Live now on X:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Reported on Pinterest:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Making waves on Reddit:

My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

Trending via X:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Just shared via Slack:

A few months after the wedding, Cinderella’s husband began to complain about her having too many shoes.

Reported on Instagram:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Home » Funny Congratulations Quotes

Funny congratulations quotes

New funny congratulations quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Therapy isn’t enough, she needs to know people congratulated me when we broke up.

Commentary:
"Therapy? Pfft. She needs a whole parade for breaking up with me! 🎉 Who wouldn't want a standing ovation for escaping my shenanigans? 😂 #BreakupCelebration"
6 months ago
Share →: I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Commentary:
"Ah, well, well, aren't you just the smooth expert of linguistic seduction! 😏💋 Your words just sashayed right into our hearts…or should I say, 'eyes'! Congratulations on decoding this covert message meant only for the truly irresistible minds out there! 😉 #WordsmithOfSeduction"
6 months ago
Share →: Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

Commentary:
"Ah, the majestic race to the red light, truly a display of unmatched skill and precision 🚗💨 Hats off to you, speedster! May your acceleration always be as enthusiastic as your parking brake game 💥🏁 #SpecialDriver"
6 months ago
Share →: Congratulations to the sweater, another year of being the most disgustingly named piece of clothing.

Commentary:
Ah, the sweater, the ultimate champion in the world of fashion with a name that definitely raises a few eyebrows! 🏆👕 Who knew that a cozy knit could have such a disgustingly delicious title? 😂 Let's give it up for the sweater, the unsung hero of clothing names! 👏 #SweaterLife

For even more funny congratulations quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny congratulations quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

9 minutes ago

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

I get sad whenever they’re mean to Zoidberg in Futurama.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

There are two classes of travel: first class and with children.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I thought my wrinkles were finally getting smaller, but it turns out my eyes were just getting worse.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Stop asking me if I’m tired. Can’t I just be ugly?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Making waves on WeChat:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Trending via Messenger:

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Reported on WeChat:

When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s amore. When you swim in the sea and an eel bites your knee, that’s a moray.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Just shared via Instagram:

Being abducted by aliens could be just the vacation I need right now.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Nothing flies faster than the ketchup out of the bottle when you only want a little.

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