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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

You’re not lazy, you’re just buffering in HD.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

All these self-driving vehicles… It’s only a matter of time before we hear a country song about his truck leaving him.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

The husband, child, and dog are all snoring. WTF is this?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Congress taking an entire month off in a country where most people don’t get more than 2 weeks’ vacation is awesome.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Now that the nights are getting cooler again, spiders often hide in your bed in search of warmth. Sleep well!

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

No one is more surprised than my kids every night when I say it’s bed time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I taught my kids about democracy tonight by having them vote on which movie to watch and pizza to order. I then picked the movie and pizza because I’m the one with the money.

Spotted on Telegram:

Can we call situationships ‘affairs’ again? It sounds more adult and less desperate.

Making waves on X:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Just landed via Facebook:

It’s always annoying to be woken up by some guy mowing his lawn. Just go around me, man.

Just landed via Slack:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Honestly, how women are drawn in a manga is typically (though not always) a good clue for what demographic a manga series is.

Going viral on Twitch:

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

Live now on Twitch:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Funny coughing quotes

Funny coughing quotes bring a lighthearted twist to those unexpected throat tickles 🤧😂. Whether you’re fighting off a pesky bug or just want to laugh at life’s awkward moments, these witty lines add humor to the cough chaos 🤪🎉. Perfect for sharing when your cough steals the spotlight or to brighten someone’s day with a chuckle! Ready to laugh through the cough fits? Let’s dive in! 😄💬

New funny coughing quotes 👇

Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

0

2 weeks ago

annoying, behavior, cat, cats, causation, coughing, grooming, hairball, humor, just, pet, pet behavior, sense, sometimes, thing, think
Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

0

2 months ago

airport, coughing, most, speaking, thing
Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

0

2 months ago

age, childish, coughing, humor, joke, playful, regress, silly, toddler, tongue
You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

0

2 months ago

broken, coughing, doctor’s waiting room, doctors, friends, humor, illness, room, socializing, something, waiting
Shoutout to coughing on the bus. Haven’t tried it myself but seems really popular.

0

2 months ago

behavior, bus, coughing, funny observation, humor, myself, observation, popular, public, public transport, shoutout, social, social behavior, transport, tried
They call it a coffin because they’re finally coughing up that inheritance.

0

2 months ago

call, coffin, coughing, death, family, humor, inheritance, joke, money

All funny coughing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Reddit this month:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

53 shares on X this month:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

43 shares on YouTube this month:

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

11 shares on YouTube this month:

Maybe everyone can just pee outside from now on so I never have to clean the toilets again.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

A hostile alien invasion sounds like a nice change of pace.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love staying in a hotel. I’m eating room service in bed while I watch the worst TV show of all time on cable television. I’m working out in the gym and swimming in the pool. I’m using the amenities. To hell with Airbnb.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,224

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Dress for the demons you want, not the demons you have.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

I was just viciously body shamed by my mirror.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

To be clear, when I said I was looking for “growth,” I meant in salary, not in workload and stress levels.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

No matter how small you make that “unsubscribe” link, I’ll still find it.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Tattoos: because being an adult is hard, and I deserve to have stickers.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again because I have a terrible memory.

Just shared via YouTube:

Don’t be sad, laundry, nobody’s doing me either.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Going viral on Slack:

It’s called shitposting, Your Honor. You should try it sometimes; it’s liberating.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

The world would be a much nicer place if we just turn off the news.

Spotted on Facebook:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Just landed via Pinterest:

My kids didn’t follow me into the bathroom so now I’m scared to leave and find out what they got into instead.

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