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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I would like to thank my middle finger for always sticking up for me when I needed it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

No revenge, but I hope you stutter every time you try to dirty talk with someone.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Coffee is just goth water.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

42 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,311

Funny Quotes Topics

17,437

Funny Quotes Images

15,311

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,703

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Making waves on Discord:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Dogs are man’s best friend because a dog would never blindside you with a group chat.

Just shared via Instagram:

God creating the duck: waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.

Trending via Threads:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Just landed via Twitch:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Going viral on TikTok:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Going viral on Instagram:

I would like to have the peace of mind of a cow. I already have the body.

Seen just now on Slack:

Don’t put words in my mouth—that’s where the hot dogs go.

Funny discount quotes

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New funny discount quotes 👇

All funny discount quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

86 shares on Discord this month:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Back to work after the long holiday weekend, so you’re finally away from the relatives you don’t like, and back with the co-workers you don’t like.

28 shares on X this month:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

89 shares on Reddit this month:

I hate when my kids ask me impossible questions like: What day is it?

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

47 shares on X this month:

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance: waiting for the bathroom.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people aren’t just missing a screw, the whole toolbox is gone.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Perks of dating me: you will be the hot one.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

42 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,311

Funny Quotes Topics

17,437

Funny Quotes Images

15,311

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,404

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

First they give you butterflies, then mental health problems.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

I see stand-up comedy as a stepping stone to television. A few more paid gigs and I’ll be able to afford a television.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

We put a man on the moon in 1969, and if you elect me to be your president, I promise that we will not stop until every man is on the moon.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

When I was a kid, I had to walk to Netflix.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Coworker: Hey, circling back on that thing we talked about in December. Me: Stop living in the past!

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Going viral on Facebook:

Cracking the ice cubes out probably feels so good for the ice tray.

Seen just now on X:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Satan: “Would you please stop sacrificing animals to me. I’m not running a zoo down here.”

Trending via Reddit:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Trending via Pinterest:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I’m not joining no alternate Twitter app. If this gets taken down, I’m starting a family.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Absolutely love wanting to do a lot of things and ending up not doing even one! Yay.

Just landed via Telegram:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Shared recently on Threads:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

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