Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Stop worrying if people like you. They don’t.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Trending via Twitch:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Making waves on Twitch:

“Do something with your life.” Um, I am. Have you heard of a little thing called squandering?

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If I got possessed demonically, I wouldn’t even notice it. With everything else I’ve got going on.

Trending via WeChat:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

Just shared via WeChat:

IKEA is like the Hotel California of furniture stores.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I’m convinced the washing machine is a portal to another dimension for socks.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you have a pure heart, you can make pretty much any non-baking meal off just vibes and intuition.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My kids had to work extra hard this morning but they were able to get the clean house back to it’s normal messy state just in time for the guests to arrive.

Funny dreaming quotes

Funny dreaming quotes are the perfect way to add a splash of humor to your nighttime adventures 🌙😴. Whether you’re chasing wild dreams or just snoozing through reality, these witty sayings will have you laughing in your sleep 😂✨. Get ready to giggle, smile, and maybe even rethink those crazy dreams with a playful twist! Dream big, laugh louder! 🌟🛌

New funny dreaming quotes 👇

All funny dreaming quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

42 shares on Pinterest this month:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

25 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

34 shares on Discord this month:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

29 shares on Slack this month:

How do I get someone to unknow me? I no longer want to be known by these people.

88 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

61 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

88 shares on Threads this month:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m actually quite nice. If I had friends, they’d all confirm that.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Looking for someone to take to couples therapy and see how long it takes the therapist to notice we don’t know each other.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Stress in private, complain on Twitter, happy in public.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,651

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Needlenose in HR says we can’t use nicknames anymore.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

I love when lashes make me look evil.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I have to work because the baby is expensive. (I’m the baby.)

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

My superpower is keeping this couch cushion warm.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Before you send that email, ask yourself: is this a December problem or a January problem?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Tornadoes are the most relaxing things in the news.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

“Dairy Queen” is actually the perfect drag name.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Making waves on Threads:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Going viral on Discord:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Breaking via Threads:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Just shared via Twitch:

*Googles: How to fake your own death and erase existence before 9am Monday morning.

Just shared via Messenger:

Shout out to all the experts on the web who know everything there is to know about absolutely everything.

Trending via LinkedIn:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Romance level: At some point, someone comes by, sees me and thinks: “Oh well, my God, why not?”

Broadcasted on YouTube:

First you’re cringe, then you’re the blueprint.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴