Commentary:
So long, civilized coffee cup! Hello, pot life! 😂☕️ Embrace the caffeine chaos with a touch of rebellion and a lot of refill convenience! 🤪🌟 #CoffeePotGoals
161 Funny drink quotes
Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?
Commentary:
"Well, that's the true holiday dilemma, isn't it? 🎄🥃 Decisions, decisions! Just remember, whichever way you go, it's all about spreading cheer! Cheers to a festive season! 🎅🥂"
The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.
Commentary:
"Someone tell that umbrella it's raining on the wrong parade! 🍹☔️😂 #DrinkProblems"
Christmas adverts: “Eat all the food! Drink all the drink! Spoil yourself! It’s Christmas!” New year adverts: “Look at what you’ve done to yourself, you fat sack of shit!”
Commentary:
"Christmas adverts be like: 🍗🎅🥂 Spoil yourself, you're a Christmas angel! 🎄✨ New year adverts: 🥴🥗💪 Look at what you've done, you jolly ol' sack of Christmas treats! 🤣🎇"
Welcome to middle age, where you wake up hungover whether you’ve had a drink or not.
Commentary:
Ah, the delightful mystery of middle age – where even the act of simply existing can provoke a hangover! 🎉🥂 Who needs a cocktail when you have the magical power of aging to do the job for you? Cheers to waking up feeling 'experienced' every day! 🍹🤪 #MiddleAgeMagic
Wine must breathe. I always hear that wine needs to breathe. I want to drink it and not revive it.
Commentary:
Oh, the dramatic struggle between the wine connoisseurs and the impatient wine lovers! 🍷💨 Maybe they should give the wine a tiny CPR course to revive it faster? 😄 Remember, folks, wine is for sipping, not for saving! Cheers to letting the grapes do their thing in peace! 🍇🍷
If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.
Commentary:
🍹 "Forget a regular mimosa, why stop there? Go all out and mix up a Jason Mimosa! Just a splash of orange juice and boom, you've got yourself the ultimate thirst-quenching and attractive beverage. Who needs regular OJ when you can have a slice of Momoa in your glass?" 😉
I once made the irresponsible decision to drink and drive and now I have to live the rest of my days with a coffee stain on my favorite sweater.
Commentary:
"Lesson learned the hard way: a coffee stain on a white sweater is not a fashion statement, no matter how hard you try ☕️🚗 #DrivingDisasters"
Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.
Commentary:
"Why bother with fancy cocktails when the simple act of standing up quickly can give you that instant buzz? 🍸💨 Who needs a drink when you've got gravity on your side? 🌪️😂 #LifeHack"
I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.
Commentary:
"Who needs 'espresso' when you can simply ask for a tiny cup of fury ☕😡 Sometimes you just need a sip of attitude to kickstart your day! 😂"