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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

People have ex girlfriends, I have ex crushes.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

At the grocery store, progressively booing louder as the clerk scans each item.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Just found out my 84-year-old neighbour is on his own tomorrow, so I’ve just been over to collect his spare chairs to borrow.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,595

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Making waves on WeChat:

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Shared recently on Discord:

My wife refuses to hire a housekeeper because she doesn’t want them to see this mess.

Just landed via Messenger:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Tech enthusiasts: My entire house is smart. Tech workers: The only piece of technology in my house is a printer, and I keep a gun next to it so I can shoot it if it makes a noise I don’t recognize.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I don’t mean to disrupt the hotel industry, but how about checkout is 24 hours after you check in?

Shared recently on Discord:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Funny early leave quotes

Funny early leave quotes bring a burst of laughter to those sneaky moments when you escape work just a bit early 🕒😄 Whether you’re dodging endless meetings or chasing happy hour 🍹, these witty sayings capture the joy of beating the clock with style. Ready to lighten your day and share some chuckles? Let’s dive into the funniest ways to celebrate your early exit like a pro! 🚀🎉

New funny early leave quotes 👇

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

0

2 months ago

activity, early, early leave, email, finds, fun, fun activity, hope, humor, leave, moonwalking, motivation, work
People should be allowed to leave work early if they want to go see a movie.

0

2 months ago

activity, allowed, early, early leave, entertainment, fun, fun activity, leave, movie, people, personal, personal time, policy, should, time, time off, want, work, workplace, workplace policy
You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

0

2 months ago

allowed, date, early, early leave, fun, humor, leave, love, relationships, romance, should, work
You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

0

2 months ago

allowed, dog, early, early leave, home, humor, leave, lot, miss, missing, missing pet, pet, should, work, workplace, workplace humor
My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

0

4 months ago

early, early leave, Friday, humor, leave, life, office, office life, sneaking, sneaking out, talent, work

All funny early leave quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

33 shares on Threads this month:

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

39 shares on Slack this month:

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Work for a living? In this economy?

69 shares on Threads this month:

A middle finger hits different when your nails are done.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

A female will ghost you, and the whole time she is waiting for you to text back again.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

One sec, lemme just find the off switch for my brain.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to go back to Friday. I want to do my weekend differently.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,465

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

I get at least 1,000 steps in waiting for my food to be done in the microwave.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

My life is simple, I see a queue of more than 6 people, I go home.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

I’ve got the nativity scene facing the TV, so baby Jesus can watch “Die Hard.”

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I’m not super into getting older but I do like how nobody asks me to help them move anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

“We told you to stop at 2012!” – The Mayans

Just landed via Reddit:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Breaking via Reddit:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Going viral on Threads:

Went for a walk. Very pleasant evening. The squirrels and rabbits kept running away from me. That stung a little. I will remember their faces.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Going viral on TikTok:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Sometimes I’ll call in, disguise my voice, and insist on speaking to me, or I’ll take my business elsewhere.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

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