Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Let’s skip the getting-to-know-you phase. Just block me.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

Took a break from Twitter for my mental health, so I’d figure I’d come back to ruin it again.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

On the internet, you can be anything you want. It’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Apparently, if you leave your Tupperware cupboard unorganized for too long, they procreate, and extra lids appear out of nowhere.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Going viral on Slack:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Kind of rude you didn’t wake me up before you went went.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Just shared via Twitch:

Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I want to save money, but all I’m saving are memes.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

You relax for 15 minutes after work, and next thing you know, it’s 10 p.m.

Just shared via Snapchat:

We should be able to call in healthy: “I feel amazing today, and I’m not wasting it at work.”

39 Funny employment quotes

More funny employment quotes 👇

Interviewer: Can I get you anything? Me: Yeah, a job!

3 weeks ago

employment, humor, i, interview, interviewer, job, me, response
AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

3 weeks ago

AI, bad, bad writing, bit, doing, employment, humor, irony, job, job security, save, security, should, technology, training, want, writing
An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

3 weeks ago

employment, humor, internship, joke, satire, steal, unpaid, work
Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

3 weeks ago

application, ask, being, choose, employment, exploitation, humor, i, job, job application, job search, love, salary, search, work
We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

3 weeks ago

adulting, chat, creative, employment, group, group chat, humor, insurance, know, needs, someone, underemployed
Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

3 weeks ago

AI, automation, bad, employment, explain, good, humor, immigrant, irony, job, jobs, me, somebody, take, technology, why
I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

3 weeks ago

balance, employed, employment, health, humor, mental, mental health, personality, unhinged, work life, work-life balance
Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

3 weeks ago

dislike, employment, frustration, humor, hunting, job, job hunting, knowing, want, work, worst
I exaggerated on my job application and said I wanted to work for a living.

3 weeks ago

application, employment, exaggerated, exaggeration, humor, i, job, job application, living, motivation, said, wanted, work

For even more funny employment quotes, hit next 👇

All funny employment quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

46 shares on X this month:

Please twerk; I have just days left.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s crazy how social media convinced us that 15 likes aren’t enough. Imagine 15 people in real life telling you that you looked good.

44 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

77 shares on Instagram this month:

Tinder is a food delivery app if you’re good at it.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Unemployed folks always have esoteric knowledge, for some reason.

46 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

It’s too late. I sat down on the couch after work. Go on without me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Commenting “This could be us” on her pics with her boyfriend.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I love how my brain is like, “We’re not going to think about that,” and then thinks about only that.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Women don’t like me, so I’m going to spend all my money on a jacket.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

They’re making me do work at work.

Breaking via Reddit:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Going viral on YouTube:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Trending via WeChat:

Worst feeling in the world is when you are loyal to all your girlfriends but your favorite one is cheating on you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If only my bank balance was as high as my daily calorie intake.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’ve never really had a beach body, but my snowman body is coming along quite nicely.

Activity Log ✨

39 Funny employment quotes

More funny employment quotes 👇

All funny employment quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨