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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I don’t mean to brag, but I put together a puzzle in 1 day and the box said 2-4 years.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Banks should have a gold bar that you can go in and touch when you feel poor.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Being social sucks all my energy.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,230

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Twitch:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Phone addiction got so bad that watching a movie feels productive.

Just landed via Discord:

When someone giving me directions says, “You can’t miss it,” I would love to tell them just how wrong they were if I could find my way back to them.

Breaking via Twitch:

One week without chocolate. I can no longer hear anything in my left eye.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

Live now on LinkedIn:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Divorcing my wife to focus on my porn addiction.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’m already cold. I know me and my low iron ain’t gonna survive winter.

Making waves on Slack:

Having Twitter is just like reading the newspaper, except the newspaper is on fire and all the writers hate you.

Funny empty seat quotes

Funny empty seat quotes bring a hilarious twist to those mysterious vacant spots around you 🪑😂 Whether it’s at a party, on public transport, or during a meeting, these witty sayings turn empty chairs into the life of the party 🎉😆 Get ready to giggle as we explore clever, cheeky lines that make every empty seat a source of laughs and good vibes! 😜✨

New funny empty seat quotes 👇

All funny empty seat quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Slack this month:

The only problem I have with chocolate is that one minute it’s there and the next it’s not.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Young people are too young nowadays. Back in the good old days, young people were my age.

38 shares on TikTok this month:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

36 shares on Facebook this month:

If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

Should we all just give up and get really into drugs? Wait, this is literally what happened in the 60s. That just clicked for me.

47 shares on Telegram this month:

When the job market is so bad that you’re going to follow your dreams instead.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

To think that billions in venture capital have been deployed because it was annoying to copy and paste from ChatGPT.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

32 shares on Telegram this month:

Getting a wax is wild, like you really just be bust open talking to the lady like it’s nothing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so cold that men who wear shorts outside in the winter are wearing TWO pairs of shorts.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s amazing how so many people can rave about Star Wars or Star Trek and at the same time make sure that the only realistic future prospect is Mad Max.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My birth year getting a lil too far on those lil scroll lists. I don’t like that.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: he escaped.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

I love to watch the enthusiasm of new coworkers, and then their inevitable slow descent into not giving a damn.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If I’m ever the problem, you’re the reason.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

The evening news: Where they begin with “Good evening” and then proceed to tell you why it’s not.

Just shared via Threads:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Seen just now on Discord:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

Spotted on Slack:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Going viral on YouTube:

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

80s movies: Let’s go to the future! Today: Let’s go back to the 80s!

Shared recently on YouTube:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Just shared via X:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Going viral on WeChat:

What are cats even trying to do?

Trending via Pinterest:

I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done.

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