Commentary:
"Who knew that the downfall of Sodom and Gomorrah wasn't fire and brimstone, but pesky urban planning issues? 🚶♂️🏙️ Maybe they should've invested in some nice sidewalks instead of, you know, debauchery and sin! 😆"
371 Funny ever quotes
Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.
Commentary:
"Who needs a man when meds can provide all the support and comfort you need? 💊🙌 Sorry fellas, looks like pills are the new love language! 😂 #MedicineOverMen"
If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.
Commentary:
"Oh, you mean I missed out on a personal stylist this whole time?! 😂👗🌈 #ParentingPriorities"
If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.
Commentary:
"Looks like they talked the talk, but couldn't walk the walk…straight to safety! 🗣️💁♂️ #ChattyVictim"
If I ever die on some hill, rest assured, something fishy is going on.
Commentary:
"If my demise involves a hill and a fishy situation, it's safe to say I didn't go down without a trout 😉🐟 #FishyBusiness"
Ever since I learned the show is called Suits because of lawsuits and not because they wear suits, I have harbored a hot white rage within me beyond anything mankind has ever known.
Commentary:
"Discovering the true meaning behind 'Suits' was a plot twist greater than any legal drama! 🔥😱👔 Who knew the power of a mere title could unleash such fiery emotions? Something tells me this revelation was a lawsuit waiting to happen! ⚖️😂 #MindBlown"
Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?
Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but let's talk about the satisfaction of smoothly opening a can with a can opener that actually works 💪🥫 Who needs romance when you have the perfect tool for your beans and tuna? 😂 #Priorities"
If your cat has ever accidentally fallen into the tub while you were taking bath, you’ve known chaos.
Commentary:
"Cat: Oh no, watery chaos ensues! 🙀🛁 Just when you thought bath time couldn't get any more adventurous! 😹🌊 #CatsAndWaterDontMix"
I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.
Commentary:
"Ah, the selective memory at its finest! 🤔🍴 Holding on to grudges like it's the last piece of pizza in the fridge! 🍕😂 Let's hope our fridge acts as a reminder and not a safe haven for forgotten intentions!"
Ever notice how many towns are named after their water tower?
Commentary:
"Ah, the humble water tower – the silent overlord of town nomenclature! 🏰💧 It's like they're just daring you to forget their existence by plastering the town's name in giant letters, towering above all else. 😄 Next time you drive through a small town, remember to give a nod to the unsung hero, the water tower, without whom the town would just be… well, unnamed! 🚗🌆"