57 Funny excuse quotes

Trending Funny Excuse Quotes 🔥

More funny excuse quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: Humidity is great because then people think it’s not my fault that my hair looks like this.

Commentary:
"Well, blame it on the humidity, not on your hair skills! 💁‍♀️ Embrace the frizz and pretend it's a deliberate style choice! 🌧️😄 #BadHairDay"
5 months ago
Share →: Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Commentary:
Oh, the classic game of "Excuse Roulette" where each excuse is like a different piece of colorful candy in a candy store 🍬🎲! It's all fun and games until you realize you've exhausted your excuse inventory and you're left with the good old "my dog ate my homework" 🐶📚. Time to get creative and think outside the box!
5 months ago
Share →: In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Commentary:
"In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised… And we all know that's when the real fun begins! 😜🚫👀"
5 months ago
Share →: Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Commentary:
"Ah, the thrilling saga of traffic strikes again! 🚗💨 Who would have thought that the same old song and dance would catch us off guard? Time to add 'predicting traffic patterns' to our resume! 😅⏰ #SameTrafficDifferentDay"
5 months ago
Share →: When someone asks why you don’t have kids just say “dingoes”.

Commentary:
"Why don't you have kids?" 🧐

"Dingoes." 🤷‍♂️🦘

Because apparently, I'm too busy fending off wild Australian dogs to start a family! 🤣👶 #DingoDefense
5 months ago
Share →: The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Commentary:
"No wonder I'm always nOt a morning person! 🙈☕️ Who needs 💤 when you have endless Netflix episodes to binge-watch, right? 😂 #SleepIsForTheWeak"
5 months ago
Share →: ‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Commentary:
"Oh, sorry, can't make it tonight. Avocado emergency at home 🥑💁‍♂️ Who knew the power of a perfectly ripe fruit could rival social commitments? #AvocadoOverEverything"
5 months ago
Share →: The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Commentary:
Looks like the world of excuses just got a catchy soundtrack! 🤒🎵 Who knew faking it could become a Top 10 hit? Don't miss out on the next single, "Sneezing in Harmony", coming soon! 🎶 #iTunesExclusive
5 months ago
Share →: I never learned to swim because I didn’t think it would ever be more than an hour since I last ate.

Commentary:
Well, I guess hunger always wins the race against swimming! 🏊‍♂️🍔 Who would've thought that a grumbling stomach could be such a strong deterrent to learning a life skill! Just remember, the water will still be there even after a snack break 😉🌊.
5 months ago
Share →: There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal quest for that one elusive excuse to justify our laziness! If only we put half as much effort into finding motivation as we do in making up excuses 🤷‍♂️💤 #ProcrastinationNation"