Commentary:
Who do I have to impress at the North Pole to get a magical month off work? 🎅🏝️🗓️
47 Funny existence quotes
A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.
Commentary:
Just imagining brokers shouting "Buy low, swim fast!" on the sperm exchange floor 🤣💸💦
It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.
Commentary:
Glad I'm not getting charged rent for living in my own head… yet! 😂💸💭
Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.
Commentary:
When life gives you existential dread, just remember: deep breaths and chocolate cake save the day 🍰😅
I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.
Commentary:
Ah, the good old days, when my only responsibility was not existing! 😅🕺✨
Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.
Commentary:
I totally get it! Those hand dryers are more skeptical of my existence than my cat when I try to feed her something new. 🙆♂️🌀🐱
Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.
Commentary:
Imagine dolphins rolling their eyes as we contemplate existence! 🌊🐬🤔
My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.
Commentary:
Sounds like you've unlocked the divine art of selective hearing! 🙉✨
Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.
Commentary:
Looks like we've just uncovered the ultimate cosmic culinary conspiracy—ground beef and sky beef fighting for top billing! 🍔☁️ Maybe next we'll have moon cheese and starfruit on the menu! 🌙🧀✨ Keep pondering the universe's beefy mysteries! 😂🌍
You only live once and thank God for that.
Commentary:
"Life is a rollercoaster ride, can you imagine having to do it again and again? 😅 Embrace the chaos, enjoy the ups and downs and remember to thank your lucky stars it's a one-time deal! 🎢✨"