Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

(at an incredibly low point in my life) I should start dating again.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

If you hide the Easter eggs while you’re drunk, nobody knows where they are.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

“Nothing beats in-person interaction”. Yeah, with someone I know and love, not Denise from finance.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Actually, you’re having a conversation with yourself. I’m just here so you don’t appear totally insane.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Aura is the real business card.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,472

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

Making waves on Discord:

That one unemployed roommate who gets a package every day.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Going viral on X:

The neighbor girl told my kids she wouldn’t come over until they cleaned their rooms, so I guess I do have a favorite child.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Breaking via TikTok:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Starting tomorrow whatever life throws at me, I’m ducking so it hits someone else.

Making waves on Threads:

I don’t dress for women. I don’t dress for men. I dress for the weather, mainly.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Live now on Discord:

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

25 Funny fail quotes

More funny fail quotes 👇

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

1 month ago

cooking, egg, eggs, fail, flip, food, food fail, going, humor, just, kitchen, kitchen mishap, mishap, okay, omelette, scrambled, scrambled egg
I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

1 month ago

alarm, back-up, back-up alarm, backup, fail, humor, i, kid, morning, oversleep, parenting, sleep, wake up
Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

1 month ago

accident, accident humor, accidentally, blanket, clumsy, describe, face, fail, humor, i, know, life, myself, pull, punch, relatable, self-harm, trying, while
I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

1 month ago

blood, blood moon, bro, eclipse, fail, humor, i, kiss, moon, romantic, romantic fail, under, whatever
I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

1 month ago

cooking, cooking fail, drank, everything, fail, garbage, hand, hand towel, humor, i, kitchen, literally, over, right, shoulder, towel, understand, while, why, wine

For even more funny fail quotes, hit next 👇

All funny fail quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on X this month:

If you have ever spent an hour on Twitter then you understand why there’s such an urgency to create Artificial Intelligence.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

There’s literally no law that says you can’t put your friends down as your references and pretend they were your boss at an old job. Literally, there’s no law that says that.

19 shares on Discord this month:

I haven’t had sex in so long, I forgot how to moan, what if I mess up and bark?

27 shares on Slack this month:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

50 shares on Slack this month:

I have tasted employment, I have tasted joblessness and I recommend generational wealth guys.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Being smart is a curse. You see the game, the lies, the patterns, but you still gotta play dumb to survive.

72 shares on Discord this month:

No more looking back in anger. It’s time to look forward in anger.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

“Do you like using Twitter?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle and explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Everyone is getting pregnant or married, and I’m back to “What’s your favorite color?“

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

It’s okay to get rid of the boxes for the electronic things you’ve had for the past couple of years.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

25 is the new 0 years old.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Live now on Threads:

Some people exercise every day. Right now, I’m watching a show I don’t like because the remote fell on the floor.

Making waves on Twitch:

They say 30 is the new 20, and 40 the new 30. All I know is 9 p.m. is the new midnight.

Just shared via Twitch:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Breaking via TikTok:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If you bought 1 Bitcoin ten years ago, it would now be worth 1 Bitcoin. Let that sink in.

Seen just now on Threads:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

25 Funny fail quotes

More funny fail quotes 👇

I’m just going to flip this omelette… Okay, we’re having scrambled eggs.

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

I was gonna kiss you under the blood moon eclipse, but whatever, bro.

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

All funny fail quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨