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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

“I’m like Sisyphus but with dishes. Dishyphus.”

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I wonder if my guardian angel and my future husband’s guardian angel are in a group chat trying to coordinate.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

I’m officially at the age where going out on the weekend just means I’m running errands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

The devil couldn’t reach me, so he made sure that the love I give is never reciprocated.

Seen just now on Discord:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

Shared recently on Discord:

Call me Frankenstein the way I’m piecing it together.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Imagine hating on me and I’m just sitting there in the corner, in the spotlight, losing my religion.

Freshly posted on X:

We used to have “spring, summer, fall, winter”. Today we have “drama, drama, drama, drama”.

Trending via Slack:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m just a girl, standing in front of a Monday, asking it to be a Friday.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Freshly posted on Slack:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Funny festival quotes

Funny festival quotes are the perfect way to capture all the laughs, craziness, and unforgettable moments 🎉😂 Whether you’re dancing in the mud or rocking out with friends 🎸👯‍♂️, these witty gems bring the vibe to life and keep the good times rolling. Ready to sprinkle some humor on your festival memories? Let’s dive into the funniest lines that make every celebration twice as fun! 🎤🎶✨

New funny festival quotes 👇

All funny festival quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nothing is impossible, except for my daughter returning home with the hat and gloves she wore to school this morning.

37 shares on Snapchat this month:

If I go missing and you put my weight on that poster, I swear I’m not coming back.

37 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

10 shares on Discord this month:

For my birthday, I want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail.

61 shares on Slack this month:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You’re in her DMs. I’m accidentally reposting reels of Tibetan foxes because I don’t know how to use the app anymore.

68 shares on Facebook this month:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

99 shares on Twitch this month:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

10 shares on Discord this month:

I would like even faster food.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve watched porn with better writing than Stranger Things.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The main reason I got divorced was cause I got married.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re 20, please stop saying you’re tired. I have bananas older than you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate to slut-shame, but a lot of you are not slutty enough.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Kendrick inspires me to be a bigger, deeper, more passionate hater.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,373

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

I like to push myself out of my comfort zone by sometimes sitting on the other end of my sofa.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

You’re a ghost driving a meat-coated skeleton made from stardust, riding a rock, hurtling through space. Fear nothing.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Only thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m stupid.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

They say it is hard to look at lips that you are not allowed to kiss. You do not know how hard it is to look at a face that you are not allowed to hit.

Going viral on Slack:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Trending via YouTube:

If I met someone like me, I’d be really concerned for them.

Making waves on Twitch:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Shared recently on X:

The difference between a Lamborghini and a dead body is that I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Live now on Facebook:

People be like “bear with me” and they don’t even have a bear with them.

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