Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: I want time to sit and read, take a nap and snack. Basically, I want to be in Kindergarten.

Commentary:
"Who knew the key to a stress-free life was to simply revert back to Kindergarten? No bills, no responsibilities, just pure bliss of naps and snacks. Sign me up for the Kindergarten life ASAP!"
4 months ago
Share →: Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Commentary:
"Who needs a boxing ring when you have a Monopoly board? It's all fun and games until someone lands on Park Place without a hotel. Family fistfights, now with a chance card twist!"
4 months ago
Share →: My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Commentary:
Looks like they've found the perfect motivation to speed up dinner – a frozen treat waiting at the finish line! Who knew popsicles could be the ultimate dinner incentive? Just remember, brain freeze is a small price to pay for dessert efficiency!
4 months ago
Share →: I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic introvert strategy – let the extroverts do all the heavy lifting in the friendship department! Who needs to make friends when you can just get adopted by extroverts and let them do all the work? It's like having your own personal social manager, only with more spontaneous dance parties and karaoke nights. Just remember to thank your extrovert friends for keeping your social calendar full – whether you like it or not!
4 months ago
Share →: A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Commentary:
"Weddings are like a real-life game of musical chairs, but with hearts instead of chairs. Just remember, if you're feeling mischievous, there's always the 'should've been you' card to play. Just be prepared for some surprised looks and maybe a few awkward laughs!"
4 months ago
Share →: Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Commentary:
"Ah, the infamous 'Hey everyone watch this!' clause – the universal signal for impending chaos and potential disaster at the pool. It's like a siren call for lifeguards to brace themselves and for spectators to prepare for some quality entertainment. Remember, folks, the only thing you should be showing off at the pool is your impeccable cannonball form!"
4 months ago
Share →: Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic holiday dilemma: trading one mess for another in the name of festive cheer! Who needs a spotless house when you can have a beautifully chaotic display of holiday decorations instead? It's the perfect excuse to put off cleaning and embrace the merry madness of the season!
4 months ago
Share →: Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a passport when you have a cold brew in hand? Let the world come to you, one sip at a time! Cheers to the ultimate staycation."
4 months ago
Share →: Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Commentary:
"Me at the bowling alley feeling attacked by all the strikes and spares from pro bowlers like 🎳💥 'Excuse me, can you kindly miss a few shots so I can pretend I have a chance in this game, please?' 😆 #BowlingStruggles"
4 months ago
Share →: They should invent weekends that are long-lasting.

Commentary:
"Imagine a weekend so long, by the time it's over, you've forgotten what day it is! 🤯📆 Who needs just two days off when you can have a never-ending weekend full of relaxation and procrastination? 💤⏳ Let's petition for the invention of the eternal weekend – because Mondays are highly overrated! 🙅‍♂️☀️ #WeekendGoals"