Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I’m already spoiled… please don’t come into my life trying to unspoil me.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

There’s some gifs that I’ve started to act out in real life as responses to situations.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I found out my wife was cheating on me at a Red Hot Chili Peppers concert, and I don’t ever wanna feel like I did that day.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I’m so single, even my husband won’t match with me on Tinder.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Kids: making things way more difficult when they don’t have to be, since the dawn of man.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Just shared via Discord:

I have determined there is no quiet way to get a pan out of a cabinet in the morning.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

From a very young age, I knew that everyone was wrong and I was right.

Going viral on TikTok:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I was in a good mood until I realized not only was it not Friday it wasn’t even Thursday.

Making waves on Twitch:

There’s a guy who thinks he’s going to Yale, but it’s jail.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I would love to be normal, but unfortunately, I was raised by the internet and a microwave.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Is there a job where I can lay on the floor and listen to music?

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Funny Home Depot quotes

Funny Home Depot quotes bring the DIY adventures to life with a splash of humor and a sprinkle of wit 🛠️😂 Whether you’re a weekend warrior or just trying to find the right screw, these laughs make every trip to the orange paradise way more entertaining 🧰🏡 Get ready to chuckle, relate, and maybe even roll your eyes at all the classic Home Depot moments we know and love!

New funny Home Depot quotes 👇

All funny Home Depot quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on Instagram this month:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

39 shares on YouTube this month:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

45 shares on Facebook this month:

You should introduce your upper lip to your bottom lip sometime and shut up.

96 shares on WeChat this month:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

55 shares on YouTube this month:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids have been joking for weeks about a new Pokémon called Puke-Achu and then they got the stomach flu and brought it to life.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Sweet, but twisted. Does that make me a candy cane?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,733

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

If you’re feeling a little uneasy about the state of global geopolitics, remember to spend as much time on your phone as possible. The more information you ingest as you scroll, the calmer you will become.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

There aren’t any emojis that really express any meaningful sort of anguish.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Wishing all the contacts in my phone “Merry Christmas, I hope you get what you deserve” and just letting that work itself out.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Going bananas on Facebook:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Just shared via Telegram:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Trending via Twitch:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Trending via Snapchat:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Spotted on Threads:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

Spotted on TikTok:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Making waves on Discord:

“What’s something you’d tell your younger self?” You can have ice cream for dinner, nobody will stop you.

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