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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The government even made aliens boring.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

I suffer from that syndrome where your neutral expression makes it look like you’re an angry serial killer.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Not to brag but I can chop an onion without crying. And I can cry without chopping an onion.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,735

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

I just think we should kiss. And kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss and kiss. But that’s just me.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Trending via Slack:

Raising a teenager is like nailing pudding to the wall.

Spotted on YouTube:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Seen just now on Twitch:

So many people to disappoint, so little time.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Funny Home Depot quotes

Funny Home Depot quotes bring the DIY adventures to life with a splash of humor and a sprinkle of wit 🛠️😂 Whether you’re a weekend warrior or just trying to find the right screw, these laughs make every trip to the orange paradise way more entertaining 🧰🏡 Get ready to chuckle, relate, and maybe even roll your eyes at all the classic Home Depot moments we know and love!

New funny Home Depot quotes 👇

All funny Home Depot quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

66 shares on X this month:

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

45 shares on Threads this month:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

34 shares on Slack this month:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

“I’m at a point in my life where my favorite thing to do is nothing.”

94 shares on Reddit this month:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

28 shares on Reddit this month:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

The trick is to not let people know how weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe making another financially irresponsible decision will fix me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t be the only one who screenshots confirmations, even though you’ll get an email and text.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

There is no ‘we’ in ‘food’.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If it hurts you more than it hurts them, you are holding the taser wrong.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,461

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I have no prime. I will evolve till I die.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I prefer the Easter Bunny, for starters, he’s not making a list and checking it twice, and more importantly, he’s not watching me when I’m sleeping.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

When your kids embarrass you in public, the only way out is to turn away in disgust and mutter loudly, “Who raised you?”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Helvetica is my favorite font that sounds like a heavy metal band.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Pinterest:

“OMG I love your personality,” thanks, it’s a disorder.

Just shared via X:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Just shared via Instagram:

I say “long story short” and then tell the story with bonus features.

Spotted on Facebook:

I identify as Michael Jackson, so my pronouns are “he/hee.”

Spotted on Pinterest:

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Making waves on Twitch:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Deleted old Tweets just in case I date a very famous woman with rabid fans.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

That awkward moment when you’re about to leave work and your boss says “before you go”.

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