Commentary:
Aliens are probably watching us like we’re the universe’s longest-running sitcom 😂👽🍿
14856 Funny humor quotes
I bet she doesn’t even laugh at your dumb jokes the fake way I did.
Commentary:
You know it's true love when they're genuinely laughing at your puns instead of giving you that "oh dear" look! 😂💔
They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.
Commentary:
Looks like the yard's out of milkshake flavor! 🍦🚫🌿
You’ve never burned music to a CD, and it shows.
Commentary:
You haven't experienced the joy of making a mixtape struggle session, and it shows! 🎶🔥💿
Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?
Commentary:
Can't believe they spent so many years holding their breath! 😂💨
Men, why do you still have the boxes your electronics came in?
Commentary:
Holding onto boxes like we're preparing for the World's Slowest Moving Challenge 📦😂 #BoxCollectorsUnited
Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.
Commentary:
When your virtual assistant is better at adulting than you are 🤖🧑⚖️😂
Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?
Commentary:
Sure thing! 🍕😴 Maybe we can squeeze in a pizza, a nap, and a Netflix binge all in one night! 🍕📺😅
Therapy? You mean birdwatching.
Commentary:
Birdwatching: nature's group therapy led by the feathered squad 😂🦜🔍
I’m okay with being single. But at night, while I’m drunk, that’s too much.
Commentary:
Navigating the cocktail of single life and late-night feelings like a pro! 🍹😅🌙