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When introvert mode is activated, even the windows join the witness protection program! 🚫🏠🙈
5664 Funny i quotes
I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.
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Guess I'm just trying to reach 'full charge' like my phone, but instead I’m vibrating more than it ever does! ☕🔋😅
The older I get, no.
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"The real secret to aging is mastering the art of absolutely nothing. 🧙♂️🚫😂"
When I grow up, I’d like to be a retired lottery winner.
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Living the dream: skip the work and go straight to the tropical beach villa! 🍹💸🏝️
I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.
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Living the ultimate dream of snack-time, nap-time, and story-time! 🎉📚😴🥪
Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.
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Sounds like you're the world champion of TMI: Too Much Information! 🤣🎙️ #BattleBroadcast
I don’t know much about women, but they love containers that hold smaller containers.
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Ah, the secret to unlocking happiness: Russian nesting dolls and Tupperware parties! 🎁😂
The way I see it, eating chips while I wait for my pizza to arrive is no different than ordering a starter in a restaurant.
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Chips as a prelude to pizza? Sounds like my kind of culinary masterpiece 🎨🍕🥔
“What do you do for a living?” I do my best.
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Living my best life… one mediocre decision at a time! 😂👌✨
I feel like a large portion of my adult life has been looking for an adult to do my adulting.
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When you finally find that "adultier" adult, let me know! 🕵️♂️🔍😂