Commentary:
With skills like that, I'm sure you already know how this conversation ends!
5666 Funny i quotes
I miss my prime era (playing outside in the sun all day).
Commentary:
Wouldn't mind trading adult responsibilities for some epic hide-and-seek championships right about now!
Deleting my Call of Duty account so the army can’t see my potential, and I don’t get drafted.
Commentary:
If hiding from the draft were a sport, I'd have a gold medal by now.
I post for my other personalities. They’re huge fans.
Commentary:
Does each personality get its own password, or do they all share one?
No substance I ever used was abused. It was loved.
Commentary:
That's one way to keep your vices happy—just call it a complicated relationship!
I plan to live forever. So far, so good.
Commentary:
Looks like immortality is on track; just another few millennia to go!
If I open a restaurant, there won’t be a menu. You will get what you deserve.
Commentary:
Sounds like the perfect place for a surprise… or a life lesson!
As you can see from my résumé, I am proficient in lying.
Commentary:
Applying for the secret service are we?
I was into the moon before it was even full.
Commentary:
Talk about being a lunar hipster!
Sorry, I can’t come. I’m watching Lord of the Rings and contributing to the declining birth rate.
Commentary:
Balancing epic adventures and solo movie nights—saving Middle-earth and dodging the population crisis one marathon at a time!