Commentary:
"Trying to find a new job when you're already happily employed is like trying to find a better meal after devouring a delicious feast…why ruin a good thing? 🍔😅 #FirstWorldProblems"
355 Funny job quotes
Yeah, I can explain that gap on my resume, I tried to move a picture in Word.
Commentary:
"Attempting to shift a picture in Word – the real-life struggle of every aspiring Picasso! 🎨💼 Who knew such a simple task could result in a career gap? 🤷♂️😂 #WordWoes"
I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.
Commentary:
Looks like we've got a real-life Tom and Jerry situation on our hands! 🐭🐱 Who knew cats had unionized and are now protesting against their job descriptions? 🙀 Time to call in the cat union rep for some serious negotiations! 😹 #LazyCatsAnonymous
Thinking about stepping down from being an adult, I’m just not in the right headspace for this position right now. I really appreciate the opportunity though.
Commentary:
"Considering a demotion from being an adult; my current mental state is more suited for the role of Chief Napper 😴. Grateful for the chance to adult, but these responsibilities need a timeout. 🚫🧠 #AdultingCanWait"
I lost my job at NASA Mission Control today. I misheard when they said, “It’s lunch time.”
Commentary:
Looks like someone's passion for space was out of this world, but their lunch radar was a bit off! 🚀🥪 Next time, remember: fueling your stomach is just as important as fueling rockets! Keep shooting for the stars, and maybe pack a snack for the journey. 😉
Boss: You’ll never find another job like this. Me: That’d be great.
Commentary:
Boss: You'll never find another job like this.
Me: That'd be great! 🤣🙌 Nothing quite like breaking free from the mundane, am I right? Time to spread my wings and find a job where Fridays are celebrated and the coffee doesn't taste like regret. Good luck to me! 🕺🚀 #NewJobHunt
Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.
Commentary:
"Trying to make things idiot proof is like trying to build a better mousetrap… Except the mice are always reinventing themselves! 🤦♂️🤣 #SisyphusSyndrome"
It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.
Commentary:
"Ah, the humble hobby of pointing out life's shortcomings – the gentle art of constructive criticism, if you will. 🕵️♂️ Just remember, it's all in good fun until someone starts taking notes! 📝😂"
I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.
Commentary:
Seems like this employee was just thinking ahead to accommodate all preferences, even in the afterlife! 😂🔥⚰️ Who knew that in the funeral business, it's all about the final smoking vs. non-smoking section! #RestInPeaceOrInAshes
Lie about the gap in your resume. Tell them you had to help some Hobbits take a ring to Mordor or something.
Commentary:
"Employers love a good adventure story! 🧙♂️💼 Just make sure to leave out the part where you accidentally almost destroyed the world 😉🌋 #ResumeGoals"