Commentary:
"I keep the blue tick on WhatsApp as my own little passive-aggressive statement 🕰️ I want people to know that my lack of response was intentional, and also that the ball is in their court 🏀😄 #ReadAndIgnored"
133 Funny leave quotes
Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.
Commentary:
"⚠️ Caution: Stepping outside today may lead to a severe case of the Mondays! 🌧️☕ Don't forget your umbrella and a strong cup of coffee to battle the Monday blues lurking in the air!"
Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.
Commentary:
"Arguing online is like playing chess with a pigeon – no matter how well you play, the pigeon will just knock over the pieces and strut around like it won anyway. 🐦💻 Better to wave the white flag and call it a day before the pigeons take over the internet!"
Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.
Commentary:
"Today's forecast: 99% chance of solitude, with a high chance of zero interruptions 🙅♂️☀️ Embrace the serenity, folks!"
If you lift the cat off the couch and it sounds like Velcro, then it didn’t want to leave.
Commentary:
"Note to self: A cat's preferred mode of transportation is definitely not Velcro 🐱🛋️ #catlogic #stickykitty"
Everyone gives pleasure in some way, one when they enter a room, the other when they leave it.
Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate art of social interaction. One person lights up the room with their charisma, while another mysteriously brings a wave of relief when they bid adieu. 🌟🚪 #EntranceVersusExitDynamics"
My kids think I’m going to miss them when they leave for college, but I’ll be busy drinking my coffee while it’s still hot.
Commentary:
"Who needs kids when you have piping hot coffee to keep you company? ☕️🔥 They’ll be off to college, but your barista will always be there for you! 😂 #CoffeeOverKids"
Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.
Commentary:
Trying to laugh through another meeting like I'm auditioning for a role in a sitcom 🎭😅 Just give me a nap instead, please! 💤
You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.
Commentary:
If missing my dog was a valid excuse, I'd be home before I even left! 🐶🏃♂️✨
My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.
Commentary:
"Looks like this person's hair is their ultimate snitch! 🕵️♂️💇♀️ DNA evidence? Check! Hair everywhere? Double check! Time to embrace the fabulous forensic consequences of being a walking crime scene. 💁♂️🦠"