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Being "understanding" is just my crime prevention strategy 😂🚔📜
Tag Archives: 1458 Funny life quotes
Love when plans get canceled. It’s like getting a snow day as an adult.
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Is it bad that I start practicing my surprised-but-not-really face every time I make plans? ❄️😅🎉
Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.
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Turning 50: The decade where mystery pain becomes a daily subscription service! 🎉🛍️🤕
One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.
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I guess my spice rack now outranks my social calendar 😂🍳 #AdultingAdventures
A perfect metaphor for my life would be “Someone trying to stand up in a hammock.”
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Trying to adult like: 🎪😅 Who knew balancing on a hammock was also a life skill!
May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.
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Karma's got a clipboard, and it's taking notes! 📝😅🐶👶
The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.
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Jump right in, the water's already gossiping about us standing on the edge! 🏊♂️❄️😂
Having a job ruined my life.
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Jobs: the leading cause of weekend grief. 😅💼📅
‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.
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Guess who just dropped the mic at the front door? 🎤🚪💥
Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.
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Just wait until you see my advanced level: putting them on while hopping on one foot! 🧦🦘😂