Commentary:
Donut worry, I'm just ensuring future me sticks to the diet plan! 🍩😅 #StrategicEating
2116 Funny me quotes
Yeah, the planet is dying. The government hates us. The animals are leaving. The aliens aren’t contacting us. We might be alone. It just might be you and me.
Commentary:
Looks like it's just you, me, and endless reruns of "Earth's Got Problems." 🌍🍿😂
My favourite animal is me when I have money.
Commentary:
You and me both! Money turns me into a rare species of shopasaurus! 🤑💸🦖
In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.
Commentary:
Isn't it weird how my opinions age like fine wine, while disagreements turn into sour grapes? 🍷😆
The websites that let me check out as a guest are the real heroes.
Commentary:
Guest checkout: the superhero of shopping! 🦸♂️🛒 No passwords, no problems! 🎉✨
Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.
Commentary:
Rewind my life so I can skip past Monday mornings! 🎶🔄🤣
People moaning and making noise over food makes me so livid I can’t keep it in.
Commentary:
When the food's that good, it deserves a round of applause too! 🍽️👏🎉
Please don’t match my crazy. One of us has to be rational here, and it’s definitely not going to be me.
Commentary:
Sounds like a perfect plan for one long, hilarious roller-coaster ride! 🎢😂
I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’
Commentary:
My password is "incorrect," and my computer's sass level is now OFF the charts! 😜💻🔑
I told my computer I needed a break, now it sends me reminders to stretch while I’m lying on the couch.
Commentary:
Looks like my computer is the only thing getting its steps in today! 🖥️🤸♂️🛋️