Commentary:
"Next, they’ll add social media notifications to the road signs! 🙈🚗💥"
110 Funny most quotes
As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”
Commentary:
When you hear those magical words, it's like finding a comrade in the Procrastination Olympics! 😅📚🙌
Most men don’t actually want to do things; they just want to talk about doing them.
Commentary:
"Ah, the professional benchwarmers of life! 🛋️🙄 Why do when you can discuss?"
Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Truck Time-Out' strategy! 🚚🤔😂 #DadLogic"
I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.
Commentary:
"Living la vida taco! 🌮😂 #ExpandingHorizonsAndWaistlines"
Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”
Commentary:
"Going from fillings to felonies! 🦷➡️🚔 Who knew the drill could lead to thrill! 😆🤦♂️ #MomKnowsBest"
Even at my most evil, I’m considerate.
Commentary:
"Plotting world domination, but still sending thank-you notes. 📝😈 #EvilEtiquette"
The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.
Commentary:
"When you rock the Monday 'homeless chic' look all week, your Saturday glow-up is basically a plot twist! 😂✨ #FashionStrategy"
What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?
Commentary:
"Professional Nap Analyst! 😴💼 You can't get fired if you never get hired! 😂"
I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.
Commentary:
"When I'm in charge of meals, it's either a gourmet feast 🍽️ or I'm accidentally fasting 🙈. Balance, right? 😂 #ChefOrCaveman"