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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not even sure what I’m doing on this planet.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Ho, ho, holy shit is Christmas stressful.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

My mom asked me to hand out invitations for my brother’s surprise birthday party, and that’s when I realized he was the favorite twin.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I haven’t tried Yoga, but I bent over to pick up my keys off the floor, so I’m sure I wouldn’t like Yoga.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Jan 7, 2026

3,249

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Does running away from my problems count as cardio?

Seen just now on TikTok:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Aubrey Plaza is like an alien who went to earth to study us but accidentally got famous and can’t leave.

Trending via Twitch:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

When I finally snap it’ll be because I had to type my email address in on the TV.

Shared recently on Discord:

And for my next trick, I’m going to miss you in a million unspoken ways.

Breaking via Reddit:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Funny new job quotes

Funny new job quotes are the perfect way to kickstart your career with a smile 😄 Whether you’re stepping into the office jungle 🐒 or diving into virtual meetings 💻, a little humor goes a long way. These witty lines turn first-day jitters into laughs and remind us that every new beginning deserves a lighthearted twist 🎉 Ready to laugh your way to success? Let’s get the fun started! 🚀✨

New funny new job quotes 👇

Interviewer: “What did you learn from your previous job?” Me: “That I need a new job.”

0

2 months ago

career, career change, change, experience, humor, i, interviewer, job, job search, learn, me, need, new, new job, previous, search, work, work experience

Someone from 🇳🇴 has recently bookmarked this quote.

47 shares on Pinterest this month.
My co-workers found out when my birthday is so now I need to find a new job.

0

2 months ago

birthday, co-worker, coworkers, found, humor, i, job, need, new, new job, work, workplace

Someone from 🇰🇬 has recently copied this quote.

57 shares on TikTok this month.
That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

0

3 months ago

actually, anticipation, best, excitement, finding, got, job, job start, job transition, life, life moment, moment, new, new job, period, start, starting, times, transition

Someone from 🇨🇾 has recently bookmarked this quote.

102 shares on Twitch this month.
Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

0

5 months ago

3, benefit, day, days, disease, health, humor, immunity, job, job benefit, life, months, new, new job, office, office humor, sick, sick day, starting, work, work life

Someone from 🇩🇪 has recently bookmarked this quote.

110 shares on WhatsApp this month.

All funny new job quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on WeChat this month:

I love men with a provider fetish.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

95 shares on Telegram this month:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

33 shares on Snapchat this month:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Wolves should really raise more people.

72 shares on Discord this month:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

52 shares on Threads this month:

Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

10 shares on Telegram this month:

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“PTO” stands for “prepare the others” because you’re not gonna be there.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am grateful for my experiences. I just didn’t need them all.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Partying hard on this Friday night, and by partying hard, I mean laying on my bed starfish-style.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Does anyone know what to do, like in general?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls won’t admit it, but they don’t like super fine dudes; they like medium ugly, funny dudes that dress nice.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,596

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

My nickname in high school was “who?”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

After nearly 40 years, I finally came to understand why some men slip away into a quiet, private life, far from the masses.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Sometimes I wonder if the strangers I see when I go outside are actually the people I talk to online.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

TVs are like, literally, the only thing that has gotten cheaper as I’ve gotten older.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

time heals all wounds.” Wrong! Time is chasing me with a knife.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Cannabis has many benefits. For example, it makes you retarded. But in addition, it also makes you lazy. No worries though, it also makes you fat and insane.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I already want to take a nap tomorrow.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

On the surface: cool as a cucumber. On the inside: squirrel in traffic.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Someone asked me what my hobby was and I realized that my favorite hobby is doing absolutely nothing.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

Spotted on Facebook:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

Just shared via X:

This post is invisible, and only those going to Hell can see it.

Just landed via Threads:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Going viral on Facebook:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

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