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Funny Quotes Data šŸ¤“

New funny quotes: 10834 this month

15,818 funny quotes and pics

17,813 funny quotes topics

Updated: May 26, 2026

 

 

 

 

254 Funny nothing quotes

Funny nothing quotes turn the most uneventful moments into pure comedy gold! šŸ˜‚šŸ«„ Whether it’s ā€œI’m doing nothingā€ but somehow still exhausted, or claiming ā€œnothing’s wrongā€ with a face that says otherwise, these quotes prove that *nothing* is rarely ever just nothing — it’s usually hilarious. Because sometimes, the funniest stuff happens when absolutely nothing is going on! šŸ˜†šŸ›‹ļøāŒ

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Nothing prepared me for the part of adulthood where you look like a baby deer learning to walk every time you get out of bed in the morning.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Metallica’s ā€œNothing Else Mattersā€ is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

I have a date and nothing to wear. Or as Nietzsche said: If you stare into a closet long enough, the closet stares back at you.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Nothing like waking up on a Friday and finding out it’s Tuesday.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Posted onMay 22, 2026

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

A weekend spent doing nothing is a weekend well spent.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’m already far too stressed as it is. And then you also have to have time to just sit there and do nothing.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Happiness is when you really have nothing to do with people you want absolutely nothing to do with.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

There’s nothing better than knowing that you don’t have to set an alarm clock for the next day.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

When the past calls, don’t answer it. It has nothing new to tell you.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

You know when you have so much to do that you just sit down and do nothing?

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I have three full closets of nothing to wear.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Some days you feel like a hotel light. You’re there, but you don’t have enough energy to really do anything.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Nothing makes you regret an outfit choice faster than when you see teens looking at you and whispering.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

It took me 5 minutes to do something I’ve been stressing about for 6 months. I will learn nothing from this.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Gambling is all about getting something for nothing and spending thousands of dollars trying to do it.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Dear LOL, thanks for being there when I have nothing else to say.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Nothing more rude than taking a photo of yourself and it looking like how you actually look, and not how you look inside your head.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

Posted onMay 20, 2026May 20, 2026

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

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