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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

It sure is strange that after Tuesday the rest of the week spells WTF.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’d be less aggressive in the morning if I could drive to work in a tank.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has viewed:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Making waves on Telegram:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

They can steal your recipe, but the sauce won’t taste the same.

Reported on Slack:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Going viral on Instagram:

You know you’re getting old when you and the grocery store have the same playlist.

Breaking via Pinterest:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Reported on WhatsApp:

The two most popular things to do on the internet are arguing about politics and looking at naked people. Million dollar website idea: combine both — naked people arguing about politics.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

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Funny office job quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

18 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

Why do my fully charged AirPods deplete at different rates? Do I listen harder out of one ear?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

America’s national anthem should be changed to Welcome to the Jungle.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

This is not an empty room, this is a very successful anti-party.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I slept like a baby, knowing I’m a burden to everyone around me.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Super excited about a brand new year full of questionable life choices.

Trending via Threads:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Just landed via Threads:

I want to be cremated so that I will get a smoking-hot body again.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Some 100 private jets will fly to Venice for Jeff Bezos’ wedding, and I recycle yoghurt cup lids.

Trending via YouTube:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I love how bananas just take over the whole smoothie. You can never dim her light.

Making waves on Threads:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

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