Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

That one person who has zero concept of what an indoor voice is.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

My day starts backwards, I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

If you’re not dropping it like it’s hot, then what the hell are you doing?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,383

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Her heart is an abandoned garden filled with ghosts and dying flowers.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Just landed via TikTok:

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Shared recently on TikTok:

This meeting could have been an unread email.

Going bananas on Reddit:

No, he didn’t ghost you, you just left him speechless, forever.

Making waves on Messenger:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Seen just now on Instagram:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

Funny one-night stand quotes

Funny one-night stand quotes are the perfect way to laugh off those wild, unforgettable nights 🌙✨ Whether it’s awkward moments, unexpected connections, or just pure hilarity, these witty lines capture all the chaos and charm 😂🔥 Get ready to smile, cringe, and relate as we dive into the funniest takes on fleeting romances and midnight adventures 💫🍸 #NoRegrets #LaughItOff

New funny one-night stand quotes 👇

All funny one-night stand quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Instagram this month:

Therapy only works if you have a lower IQ than the therapist.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I shouldn’t have to go to work if it’s rainy. I should get to stare out the window all day like a cat.

66 shares on Messenger this month:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

19 shares on Pinterest this month:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

My wife almost fell down the stairs today and that got us into a heated argument whether my gasp was out of concern or excitement.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

43 shares on Instagram this month:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

71 shares on Discord this month:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

What are some beginner pieces of information for somebody just getting into knowledge?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When I say “I hate drama”, I mean I hate being involved in drama. Other people’s drama? Big fan!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I think it’s sad that getting married is one of the only ways to guarantee somebody will be forced to make a speech about how great you are.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My body is like an elastic band – no matter how I stretch it, it goes back to the nap position.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to squeeze in more nothingness today, but my schedule is already packed with procrastination!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I wanna meet the person whose parents are super disappointed he went to medical school instead of becoming a stand-up comedian.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

You are depressed because your ancestors fought, danced, and ate meals together, and you eat alone in the dark while staring at a glowing rectangle.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

My whole life, I never read a warning label telling me not to eat laundry detergent or put glue in my hair, somehow I just knew.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

Trending via Instagram:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’m going to break into your house and steal that thing with the little wheels on it under the plate in your microwave.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Seen just now on TikTok:

God forbid a girl uses shopping as her coping mechanism.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Going viral on Twitch:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

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