Commentary:
Looks like my brain needs to hire some extra staff! 📱🤯😂
316 Funny person quotes
Please be nice to me. I’m in my twenties. Do you know what that does to a person?
Commentary:
Navigating my twenties like a potato trying to become fries — but still ending up as mashed! 🥔➡️🍟🤯
You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.
Commentary:
Why stop there? I'd love a fast forward button too! 😂⏩🔊
Being a toddler’s favorite person is what real love actually looks like.
Commentary:
Toddler-approved: The highest honor one can achieve before 9 p.m.! 👶❤️🏆
I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.
Commentary:
Just got new walking shoes—perfect for dodging human furniture! 🚶♀️🛋️😄
I don’t think people are actually getting any dumber. I think stupid people have just become way more confident.
Commentary:
Clearly confidence levels are breaking all-time records, just like my cringe meter! 🤪📈
“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”
Commentary:
Navigating their words is like trying to find logic in a reality TV show! 🤔💸📺
It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.
Commentary:
I tried being both attractive and talented, but the universe said "Pick a struggle" 😅🌎✨
Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.
Commentary:
Guess I'm a genius when I'm listening to classical, but just mildly interesting when I switch to pop! 🎶🧠
Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.
Commentary:
Guess that person really needed a saucy hobby! 🥚😆🥄