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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

If Liverpool play Real Madrid right now, both teams will lose the game.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’m busy taking things personally.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Most people in your life will come and go but occasionally you’ll meet someone really special who makes you contemplate murder.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Trending via Discord:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Making waves on Slack:

Wanna know a real adult life hack? Don’t tell anyone when you have a day off. Absolutely no one.

Making waves on TikTok:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

Going viral on Messenger:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Monday? But, I wasn’t even finished with Saturday yet.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I told the trees what you did. Be wary when you enter the forest next.

Just landed via Messenger:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Funny professional life quotes

Funny professional life quotes bring a much-needed splash of humor to the daily grind 💼😂 Whether you’re stuck in endless meetings or battling the never-ending inbox 📧, these witty gems remind us to laugh through the chaos. Perfect for lightening up your workday and sharing a smile with coworkers 🤣👩‍💻, they prove that laughter truly is the best office perk! 🎉✨

New funny professional life quotes 👇

All funny professional life quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Instagram this month:

Facebook is extremely over-engineered for a birthday reminder app.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m chronically online in a different and more sophisticated way than you are.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

“23 and Me” is how Leonardo DiCaprio RSVPs for events.

68 shares on Telegram this month:

The female brain works like the internet. You can delete something, but it’s never really gone.

80 shares on Slack this month:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

13 shares on Discord this month:

It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?

60 shares on Messenger this month:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

37 shares on Telegram this month:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My bed wasn’t feeling well this morning, so I had to stay home to take care of it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Films and television have led me to believe that masquerade balls have a higher mortality rate than most wars.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people believe the appendix is a vestigial organ, that its use has long since passed. I think it’s primordial. Its use has yet to come.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,680

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

Nothing good happens on the credit card after midnight.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I’m running out of people I like.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Bringing a fitted sheet to a knife fight.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Proverbs are so mean. Like, I don’t deserve any worm because I woke up at 11am? Like, no worm at all?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

Fact: Snow in November happens because people decorate for Christmas prematurely. You know who you are. Stop it.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Apartments show you 44 pics of the lobby. Man, I ain’t living in there.

Shared recently on Twitch:

And to my children, I leave 127 open tabs on Safari.

Shared recently on Messenger:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Making waves on Messenger:

The economy’s so tough, people out here eating grass — matcha.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Shared recently on Discord:

Back to the Future and chill?

Just shared via Threads:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

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