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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I miss my kids the most when they go to bed and the mosquitoes go after me because they have no other options.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

The first 7 days of the week aren’t for me.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Could someone please come over here and be the adult? I’m too tired.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,324

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Making waves on Instagram:

When people ask me what is more important, food or love, I don’t answer because I’m eating.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Trending via Facebook:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Just shared via Messenger:

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

Trending via Telegram:

“Are you okay?” No, it’s literally Monday every 15 minutes.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Going viral on YouTube:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My funeral better have a bloody merch table.

Spotted on TikTok:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in this whirlpool of emotions over there.

14 Funny quality quotes

More funny quality quotes 👇

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

0

2 months ago

attractive, confidence, humor, i, keep, me, mouth, nothing, quality, say, self-awareness, shut, think
I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

0

2 months ago

comparison, convince, criticism, example, family-run, humor, i, irony, korea, me, north, North Korea, politics, quality, should, sign, understand
It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

0

4 months ago

actually, behavior, better, cheaper, consumer, consumer behavior, crazy, diamond, diamonds, ethics, grow, humor, irony, people, price, quality, real, real diamond, special, still, suffering, synthetic, synthetic diamond, thanks, thing, value
I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

0

5 months ago

flag, humor, material, quality, red, red flag, relationship, sarcasm

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All funny quality quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Instagram this month:

One does not simply become a master of karate. First, you must accidentally walk into a spider web.

42 shares on X this month:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

85 shares on Messenger this month:

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

89 shares on Slack this month:

The lion can’t keep living like this.

66 shares on Threads this month:

The oceans are rising because no one is drinking their recommended 8-12 glasses of water per day.

60 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry I marked myself as safe on Facebook after your PowerPoint presentation.

95 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

You want fast replies from a female? Argue with her!

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

The best cuddles are the ones where you don’t have to deflate her when you’re done.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

You have to be careful about sending your spouse things on social media. You send too many things, next thing you know chores are being redistributed because of “all the free time you clearly have”.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Sometimes I see how many vacations people take and I wonder if I’m bad with money or if they are.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

I know so many people with cats, and only a tiny number of them went to a shelter and picked out a cat. Everyone else I know with a cat has a story that’s like, ‘Yeah, he just moved in.’

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

The best proof that fairy tales are fictional is the fact that the prince is always an intelligent and handsome single man.

Seen just now on Discord:

What are some beginner bad habits for someone just getting into ruining their life?

Making waves on Twitch:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Trending via Instagram:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Just shared via Facebook:

She said she liked animals but apparently all the fruit flies around my apartment was a “turn off”

Spotted on Reddit:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Going bananas on YouTube:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Trending via Slack:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

14 Funny quality quotes

More funny quality quotes 👇

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

All funny quality quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨