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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’m getting close to that age where people applaud the things I’m “still able to do”.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I don’t believe the phrase “if they wanted to, they would,” because I want to, and I don’t.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Really hate when I’m watching a movie, and I can see that they are acting.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Someone said I should think before I speak and I said “eww what a horrible way to live”

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Replying to all emails with “ya think?”.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,762

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Live now on Discord:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Seen just now on Threads:

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

Spotted on Instagram:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

At the age where a big break could mean either my career or a hip.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

Making waves on Messenger:

I think it is mandatory, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Just landed via Telegram:

How can I be expected to get out of bed when I don’t want to?

Funny quick reply quotes

Funny quick reply quotes are the perfect way to keep conversations lively and full of laughter 😂💬 Whether you’re dodging awkward questions or just want to sprinkle some wit into your chats, these snappy comebacks will have everyone smiling 🤣✨ Get ready to up your texting game with clever, speedy responses that brighten up any message thread! 🚀📱

New funny quick reply quotes 👇

All funny quick reply quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Threads this month:

What did people do before alarm clocks? Just go to bed like, “Hope I wake up in time for work tomorrow.”

60 shares on Telegram this month:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

58 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

39 shares on Slack this month:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

93 shares on X this month:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes I struggle to adjust to civilian life after coming home from the movies.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

People just don’t stop, collaborate, and listen like they used to.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

They say water is the source of life, which is true because you can’t make coffee without water.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Somebody should market a beer called “Occasionally”. So when asked, I can say, “I only drink occasionally”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Tried to pull off a smokey eye, ended up looking like I went three rounds with McGregor.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

Today I learned that up to half of the worker ants in a colony are only pretending to work, just looking busy so they don’t get tasked with anything. I respect ants so much more.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

The volume of my TV is 100% dependent on what I’m currently chewing on.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Showing my barber a Rorschach test, and he gives me his mother’s haircut.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Me drinking green tea: this is going to fix everything.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Going bananas on WeChat:

I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

Trending via Slack:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Seen just now on Threads:

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

Just shared via Telegram:

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier man.

Just shared via Facebook:

Unpopular opinion: Greek mythology needs more live-action movies. I’m tired of re-watching Percy Jackson.

Just shared via Instagram:

Before you try to save someone, make sure you’re not interrupting their karma.

Live now on Messenger:

My main career goal at the moment is to find a big bag of money in the woods.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

We’ve had far more storms since we started naming them. We’re giving them the attention they crave. Just call it needy wind.

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