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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl so I can bend backward and look at him like the Exorcist.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

There should be an opposite of Valentine’s Day where you post Instagram photos of your enemy.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I need to drink less water. This peeing situation is out of control.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Sunday should be 48 hours instead of 24 hours, I need more time to be ready for Monday.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Sorry for the things I said when I thought you weren’t listening.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,312

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Mentally, I’m in a forest screaming. Physically, I’m answering emails with a fake smile and clenched jaw.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Live now on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Making waves on Telegram:

I just want a bar where I can pour my own drink, have music at a normal volume, and there are no people, and it’s my house.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Hey babe, wanna come over and fold me like a fitted sheet?

Just shared via Messenger:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

1528 Funny relationship quotes

More funny relationship quotes 👇

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

2 weeks ago

awkwardnes, food, hope, humor, offer, relationship, secret, social, someone, want
Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

2 weeks ago

activity, day, fun, fun activity, funny suggestion, humor, love, phone, relationship, relationship humor, suggestion, switch, switch phone, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day
She left me because of my poor English. But I doesn’t care.

2 weeks ago

breakup, care, English, humor, i, irony, language, left, me, poor, relationship
How do I un-know people?

2 weeks ago

confusion, humor, i, interaction, people, relationship, social, social interaction, un-know
Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

2 weeks ago

bar, everyone, expectation, humor, irony, line, love, open, open bar, patient, relationship, wedding
Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

2 weeks ago

cook, humor, relationship, shower, temperature, water, women
I believe in annoyed at first sight.

2 weeks ago

annoyed, belief, believe, first sight, humor, i, love, relationship, sight
Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

2 weeks ago

bitter, conflict, humor, irony, person, relationship, remember
Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

2 weeks ago

app, creepy, dating, humor, interaction, relationship, social, social interaction, technology
I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

2 weeks ago

annoy, change, furniture, home, humor, husband, i, people, rearrange, relationship, tell, things

For even more funny relationship quotes, hit next 👇

All funny relationship quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

69 shares on Threads this month:

Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

38 shares on Telegram this month:

Asking a film guy, “Who is that?” when Tom Cruise comes on screen just to feel something.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

22 shares on X this month:

You couldn’t pay me to do this year again.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

81 shares on Facebook this month:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s funny how people without pizzas in their hands actually think I’ll answer my door.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

And to my great-grandchildren, I leave 48,567 screenshots.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

It’s called the Summer Olympics so one of the events should be running in flip flops to catch the ice cream man.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Due to rising prices, Dollar Tree is changing their name to ‘Tree Fiddy’.

Trending via Facebook:

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

Just landed via Messenger:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Just landed via Slack:

Did you know that if a unicorn and I were to race, the unicorn would likely win cause unicorns are about as real as my desire to race anything?

Shared recently on WeChat:

I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

Breaking via Messenger:

Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?

Just shared via Pinterest:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Activity Log ✨

1528 Funny relationship quotes

More funny relationship quotes 👇

All funny relationship quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨