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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I drink my coffee black because I like to save my calories for alcohol.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Mercury is no longer in retrograde, so never trust a cow because the sun can’t swim.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,301

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Just shared via Slack:

The only thing worse than children talking about sex is adults talking about politics.

Making waves on Slack:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Just shared via Threads:

I forgot the word “espresso” so I asked the barista for a smaller, angrier coffee.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Shared recently on Slack:

I wonder if people that fall asleep right away know that we hate them.

Going viral on Instagram:

Being an adult means your pain never goes away, it just migrates to a new location in your body.

Going viral on Twitch:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Going viral on Discord:

The collective noun for a group of narcissists should be an ‘egosystem’.

Funny rise quotes

Funny rise quotes ☀️😂 are the perfect way to kickstart your day with a smile! Whether you’re a morning person or a snooze-button pro, these witty gems will have you laughing your way out of bed. Ready to turn those early yawns into chuckles? Let’s rise and shine with a sprinkle of humor that makes mornings anything but boring! 🌅😄✨

New funny rise quotes 👇

All funny rise quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on Messenger this month:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

75 shares on Threads this month:

It’s nice to have a moment to breathe before reality knocks the wind out of you again.

63 shares on X this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Introverts be like “I know a place”, then go home.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

69 shares on Reddit this month:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

53 shares on Discord this month:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

48 shares on TikTok this month:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I handed in my exam blank so that the teacher has more time to celebrate Christmas with her family.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I am brilliantly social for one and a half hours, and then I need to recover in my bedroom cave for two days.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

It sucks that brainwashing is a bad thing, because generally speaking the idea of washing my brain sounds so nice.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,479

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying things like, “That’s a pretty building.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Get off the internet and go sniff a flower.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

Sailors wish they could swear like me.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Accessories can really boost a woman’s self-confidence. For example, I know I would feel 10x sexier if I carried a sword with me at all times.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Just shared via Threads:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Just shared via Messenger:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Breaking via Facebook:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Breaking via X:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Just landed via Reddit:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Shared recently on Twitch:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

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