Commentary:
"New exhibit idea: ‘The Art of Wasting Time’ 🎨🕰️😴"
1272 Funny sarcasm quotes
“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?
Commentary:
"Too much garlic? Nah, that's just spicy love in the kitchen! 🧄💖🔥 #GarlicGoals"
Starting drama with me the week before my period is an absolutely terrible idea – for you.
Commentary:
"When the hormones join the drama club, nobody's safe! 🎭😅🚨"
Can I come over and overstay my welcome?
Commentary:
"Sure, come on over! I'll even roll out the red carpet… to gently roll it back up when it's time to leave. 😄🚪🕰️"
You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”
Commentary:
"True! My closet is already a black hole for all my missing socks! 🧦🕳️😂"
If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.
Commentary:
"Channeling my inner 'aimbird' 🎯🦜… watch out below! 💩😆"
Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.
Commentary:
"Graduated with a degree in surviving school! 🎓😅 #HonoredAndRelieved #BarelyMadeIt"
“You like talking to yourself?” God forbid I seek advice from an expert.
Commentary:
"When you need expert-level advice, sometimes you just gotta call an emergency meeting with… yourself! 🤔🗣️😂"
I read somewhere on the internet that 87% of what you read on the internet isn’t true, and I believe it.
Commentary:
"Finally, a statistic I can trust… or can I? 🤔😂 #TruthfulDeception"
What an awful time to be even remotely aware of what is going on in the world.
Commentary:
"Current world status: 'Sorry, I can't brain today. Too many tabs open!' 🤯🌍 #Overloaded"