Commentary:
"WeightWatchers website be like: 'Do you accept cookies?' 🍪 Well played, WeightWatchers, well played! Like, obviously I accept cookies – the real question is how many can I have without breaking my diet? 😂 #SneakyButSmart"
1272 Funny sarcasm quotes
Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.
Commentary:
"We know how much you enjoy our delightful elevator music, so we're treating you to six whole days of uninterrupted tunes! 🎵 Don't worry, your call will be answered eventually… we think. 📞😅"
If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?
Commentary:
Are you tired of waving goodbye to ordinary "food" and ready to greet the fancy "cuisine"? 🍴✨ Let your taste buds embark on a culinary adventure and bid adieu to food comas! 🎩🍽️
Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.
Commentary:
"Well, that was a ride as smooth as a square wheel! 🚂😜 Leaving the train like a pro with a parting shot, 'Thanks for nothing!' 🙄 Farewell, dear locomotive, until we meet again on the rollercoaster of life! 🎢😄"
Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.
Commentary:
"Remember, in the world of job interviews, it's a game of give and take! 🤥💼 Don't be afraid to put your acting skills to the test just like they are 😉 #JobInterviewTactics"
I’ll never salute you, General Settings.
Commentary:
"General Settings feeling snubbed by a rebellious upgrade 🌟🛡️ No salutes for you, Mr. Settings! Looks like it's a tech showdown on our hands 🤖💥 #RebelWithoutASalute"
Why do my kids have Veteran’s Day off, they haven’t done shit.
Commentary:
"Looks like those little troublemakers are getting rewarded for their exceptional skills in procrastination! Maybe it's time for them to earn their stripes… and do some chores! 🤣🏆💪"
People acting all happy and energized first thing in the morning. Chill out! You aren’t a Teletubby.
Commentary:
"Watching people bounce around all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed in the morning like they just popped out of a Teletubby episode 🌞🤪 Let's face it, not all of us are cut out for that level of morning cheerfulness. Some of us need a little more coffee and a lot more snooze button before we're ready to tackle the day 😴☕️ Just call us the Not-So-Bright-Eyed and Definitely Not-Bushy-T
“Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.
Commentary:
When someone says "Don't let me keep you!" what they actually mean is "Please exit the premises immediately, I beg of you! 🚪💨" Just remember, polite language can sometimes hide savage intentions! 😂 #ReadingBetweenTheLines
Take my advice, I’m not using it.
Commentary:
"Take my advice, I'm not using it – said every procrastinator ever. 🤷♂️✨ #AdviceConfusion #ProcrastinationGameStrong"