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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m in my thirties, but I still feel like I am in my twenties; then I hang out with people in their twenties, and I’m like nope, definitely in my thirties.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

I hate when people ask me, “What did you do today?” Like, buddy, listen, I woke up at noon and then it was five p.m., okay? I don’t know.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Men call us “gold diggers” when we expect them to pay for a meal. Honey, a gold digger goes after yachts, not a piece of chicken.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,327

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Going viral on YouTube:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Spotted on X:

Not trying to brag but I just beat the high score on this blood pressure machine.

Just shared via Reddit:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

Spotted on TikTok:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Making waves on X:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Trending via Instagram:

Isn’t it weird that we have one hand that knows how to do everything and then one hand that just sits there like ‘I don’t know how to hold a pencil.’

Going bananas on X:

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Spotted on Reddit:

I have this rare skin disease called perfect.

307 Funny self-deprecation quotes

More funny self-deprecation quotes 👇

If only my teeth were as white as my legs.

2 weeks ago

beauty, body, body image, comparison, humor, image, leg, self-deprecation, teeth, white
Occupation: the ugly friend!

2 weeks ago

friend, humor, occupation, relationship, self-deprecation, ugly
My first mistake of my life was my birth.

2 weeks ago

birth, existential, humor, irony, life, mistake, self-deprecation
I’m not like other teenagers, I’m 51.

2 weeks ago

age, humor, life, life stage, perspective, self-deprecation, stage, teenager
Trying is the first step toward failure.

2 weeks ago

failure, first step, humor, irony, motivation, self-deprecation, step, trying
I’m actually really good looking if you don’t look at me.

2 weeks ago

appearance, good, good looking, humor, irony, looking, me, self-deprecation
I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

2 weeks ago

appearance, craving, fine, food, hunger, hungry, inside, joke, outside, self-deprecation
Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

2 weeks ago

40s, aging, chin, humor, life, life stage, self-deprecation, stage, welcome
I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

2 weeks ago

comedy, hilariou, humor, joke, laugh, own, self-deprecation, witty
Even Hotmail is hotter than me.

2 weeks ago

comparison, confidence, Hotmail, hotter, humor, internet, irony, me, personality, self-deprecation

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All funny self-deprecation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

13 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me: This is a hard escape room. Manager: You’re at work.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

24 shares on YouTube this month:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

47 shares on Discord this month:

The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

72 shares on Discord this month:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

26 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

70 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ribbed condoms don’t even taste like ribs.

58 shares on Slack this month:

I assume fish have beautiful names for eachother, unpronounceable by human tongues.

30 shares on Slack this month:

I’m so lazy that I’ll break my tooth trying to get this tag off before I get up and get a scissor.

99 shares on Discord this month:

I just finished cleaning the house for Thanksgiving, so if you’re looking for my family they’ll be in the backyard until Thursday.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

Grown men carpooling to the strip club so they can get boners and drive home together.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

So I just keep making dinner? Every night of my life? For forever?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

I have browser tabs open that are older than you.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Blink if you want me!

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

THRILLED to announce I did an Ironman this weekend! Attended 3 social gatherings in 3 days.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Due to not wanting to, I will not be.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

I never oversleep in the mornings. I set an alarm and a back-up alarm. Plus, there’s also a noisy kid once those fail.

Trending via WeChat:

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

Breaking via Instagram:

I will never understand people’s fascination with their ancestry, isn’t knowing your current family bad enough.

Making waves on Twitch:

Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Breaking via Reddit:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Spotted on Discord:

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s funny we got universal near-perfect free translation, and the world didn’t really change at all.

Spotted on Telegram:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

Activity Log ✨

307 Funny self-deprecation quotes

More funny self-deprecation quotes 👇

All funny self-deprecation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨