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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Offering someone food, and secretly hoping, they don’t want it.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Home is where the Wi-Fi connects automatically and no one chews loud.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1887 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,049

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,049

Updated

2 seconds ago

Users Online

3,435

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Making waves on YouTube:

Looking for someone who loves me as much as some people love standing up the second a plane lands.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

Just shared via Instagram:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Just landed via YouTube:

Ignored the small door that appeared in my apartment three days ago, and now it’s gone. That’s how it’s done.

Making waves on Facebook:

I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?

Spotted on Threads:

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Noam Chomsky sounds like the legal name of the very hungry caterpillar.

Going viral on Messenger:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1887 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,049

Funny Quotes Topics

14,835

Funny Quotes Images

12,049

Updated

2 seconds ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Do y’all ever get pre-annoyed? Like, you already know someone is about to piss you off.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

My husband and I were doing yard work, but I started a fight so I could storm off into the air conditioning.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Making waves on Twitch:

How is every author the #1 New York Times bestseller?

Just shared via TikTok:

If I say, “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared peer-reviewed research, data, and charts, and I will destroy you.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

You ever notice how when you get home from food shopping, the kids turn into airport security?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

My recliner and I go way back.

Trending via TikTok:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Going viral on Facebook:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Spotted on Reddit:

Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

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