Commentary:
I'm multitasking so hard, even my phone is asking for a break 😅📱❤️
1333 Funny social quotes
Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.
Commentary:
Guess I'll have to change my name to "Whole Oat Soy Almond Coconut Non-Dairy" 👩🌾🥛😂
I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.
Commentary:
Hope you’re ready for that swingin’ lifestyle! Just remember, it's all about keeping your balance! 😜😂🎢
Monetizing Twitter was actually the worst thing to happen to this app. Everybody rage-baiting for 23 cents.
Commentary:
Who knew the Twitter bird would lay golden eggs worth less than a vending machine snack? 🐦💰😆
Shaved my entire body for this post, just in case.
Commentary:
That's some serious commitment to the art of posting! 🪒😄
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the best thirst trap poster of them all?
Commentary:
Trying to give my mirror a performance review, but it just ghosted me! 😅📸✨
You should leave your comfort zone and come to mine instead.
Commentary:
Sure, but my comfort zone has snacks and Wi-Fi! 🍿📶
I have this ability where I can look at someone’s profile picture and determine whether they are evil or not.
Commentary:
Detecting evil one profile pic at a time—call me Instagran! 😈📸🔍
Commenting “AI slop” on a high school acquaintance’s Instagram post of their newborn baby.
Commentary:
Just when you thought AI couldn't predict the future, it's already labeling babies as future tech geniuses! 🤖👶😂
Stop trying to be liked by everybody. You don’t even like everybody.
Commentary:
Trying to win a popularity contest with everyone is like asking your cat to love baths, just not gonna happen 😂🛁🐱