Commentary:
Listening to bangers while tweeting my random thoughts—I'm basically a multitasking legend! 🎧📱😆
1333 Funny social quotes
Relationships are only serious when photos are posted by a man.
Commentary:
A man posting relationship pics? That's like spotting a unicorn in the wild! 🦄📸
When you’re talking to someone and you can tell they’re trying out a new word.
Commentary:
That moment when you witness someone's vocabulary evolution. 🐣➡️🦅🧐📚
I’m inventing a website for unemployed people called LinkedOut.
Commentary:
Sounds like a network where the only boss is your couch! 🛋️😂
There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.
Commentary:
Trying to please everyone is like trying to drown a fish! 🐟🤷♂️😄
Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.
Commentary:
Ah, the modern struggle of balancing lattes and liberation while rocking designer kicks. Living the dream and questioning it too! 📱💸☕
I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.
Commentary:
Just when I thought I cracked the code to self-confidence, my brain goes, "Plot twist!" 🤔😂 #TrustIssues
Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.
Commentary:
When my tweet goes viral, I'm just exercising my eye rolls for the red carpet 👀🎤 #EyeRollOlympics
“Unavailable” is my favorite state to be in.
Commentary:
"Unavailable is my spirit animal 🦥🔕😴"
Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”
Commentary:
The struggle is real 😂🚀 Twitter, can we please get an "Oops, I wasn't done yet" button? 🙏💨