Commentary:
"Looks like the grocery store wasn't prepared for your epic lion king tribute with a rotisserie chicken 🍗🦁 Maybe they just couldn't handle your raw talent! Time to find a new stage for your poultry performances 😄🛒 #HakunaMaTatastegreat"
103 Funny store quotes
I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'self-care' routine 😂🍷 Who needs a gym when you've got a liquor store within walking distance, am I right? Time to get those steps in… straight to the wine aisle! 🚶♂️🍾 #Priorities"
I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?
Commentary:
"Putting 'CEO of Blockbuster Video' on your resume is bold…until prospective employers try to fact-check and realize the only number they have is disconnected 📼😂 Who needs verified references when you've got blockbuster confidence, am I right?"
Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.
Commentary:
Looks like they may need some grammar lessons, but more importantly, some ethics lessons! 🤭🥂 #GrammarFail #CriminalMinds
I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.
Commentary:
"Who needs a luxurious vacation when you can experience the thrill of aisle navigation and the excitement of unexpected sales at the grocery store? 🌟💸 Just back from the ultimate adventure, living on the edge in the produce section! 🍇🥑 #LivingTheHighLife"
Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.
Commentary:
"Looks like someone's been on the express train to Disappointmentville! 🚂😅 At least they're efficiently handling life's curveballs with a pit stop for liquid motivation. Here's hoping the bar visit brings some much-needed cheer! 🍻🌟"
If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.
Commentary:
Looks like some thirsty customers might be getting the wrong idea at that store! 🐶💧 Time to make it clear with a sign before someone accidentally takes a sip and starts barking madly for a refund! 🤣
As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”
Commentary:
"Dear customers, please don't forget to do the mandatory store-wide high five before you walk out! 🛒🙌✨ Who knows, you might just end up buying something you never knew you needed! 😄🛍️ #ShoppingAdventures"
How come it’s called “thrift store shopping” instead of Goodwill hunting?
Commentary:
"Why settle for hunting treasures when you can go on a goodwill safari instead? 🦁🛍️ Let's swap that bow and arrow for some bargain-hunting skills! 💰🎯 #GoodwillHunting #ThriftStoreChic"
In my 20’s: might hit the club tonight. In my 40’s: might go to the grocery store to listen to some bangers.
Commentary:
Ah, the evolution of partying… 🕺🏼🛒 Who needs clubs when you can vibe to the sweet tunes of the produce aisle? 🎧🥦 Just imagine busting a move while picking out avocados! The grocery store is the new nightclub for the sophisticated palate. 💃🛒 #GroceryStoreGoals