Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

I be telling people, “I respect your decision,” and I really don’t. The decision is always something stupid, and I just don’t want to engage any further.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s really important to stay hydrated at work, so you can take as many 10-minute-long bathroom breaks as possible.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Well, at least my cat is supportive of me doing less and laying around more.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

When does hibernation actually begin? I wanna take part this year.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I’m a red flag, but the material is quality.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Guy inventing jogging: how can I suffer, but with music?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Spotted on Facebook:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Our dog snores so loud, we had to rename him Grandpa.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Awkward is the new sexy. At least that’s what I’m telling myself, so I don’t cry in front of strangers.

Freshly posted on Discord:

You want me to do Pilates? The thing that killed Jesus?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I was abducted by aliens. They made me wash my hands, clean my room, and eat my vegetables. Turns out I was on the mothership.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Yes, liquor store clerk, I do need help. But I decided to come here instead.

Trending via Slack:

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Trending via Telegram:

Don’t let anyone treat you like a red flag, you’re the whole damn red carpet, baby.

Funny terrified quotes

Funny terrified quotes bring laughter to those spine-chilling moments when fear takes center stage 👻😱. They turn shivers into giggles and panic into pure comedy, making even the scariest situations feel a little less spooky and a lot more hilarious 😂🕷️. Ready to face your fears with a grin? Dive into these witty gems that prove being scared can be seriously funny! 🎃💀

New funny terrified quotes 👇

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

2 months ago

better, confrontation, fear, going, honesty, name, people, person, reputation, tell, terrified, trashing, truth
I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

2 months ago

avoid, avoidance, escalator, fear, humor, joke, phobia, steps, taking, terrified
I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

2 months ago

baby, fear, humor, i, irony, know, parents, relationship, terrified, us, wonder
I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

2 months ago

break, death, fear, game, humor, i, never, streak, terrified, used, winning, Wordle, worry
I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

3 months ago

buying, commercial, commercials, humor, i, me, scare, something, terrified, tired, toothpaste, trying, want, wrong

All funny terrified quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on YouTube this month:

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

Wishing I could hit snooze on life’s alarm clock!

62 shares on Messenger this month:

I’ve saved every episode of Hoarders.

20 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

78 shares on Twitch this month:

I think there’s a size limit on engagement rings before they look tacky, to me.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

61 shares on Pinterest this month:

My therapist said I should face my fears. So I turned my phone back on.

95 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

41 shares on TikTok this month:

My therapist says I’m preoccupied with revenge. She’s going to regret that.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m so embarrassed by the paragraphs I used to send expressing my feelings.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever find yourself as a houseguest for an extended period of time, here is the golden rule for success: invisible by day, charming by night.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I have two reactions when I leave the house: Ew, the people. Ew, the weather.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband loves it when he orders fries, I say I don’t want any, and then I swoop in on his like a seagull at the beach.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Hanging out with a couple and saying, “May this love never find me,” every time there’s a slight conflict.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Breakups are hard, but have you ever been disappointed in the food you ordered?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

We are all monsters searching for someone to share our lives with.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

All women want is to consistently annoy one handsome man forever.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Eating nothing but beer for a month and calling that Oktoberfast.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Killing me softly with his schlong.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Going bananas on Instagram:

This world is extremely kind to men, so I am not.

Spotted on Messenger:

I would definitely deny being from here if the aliens pulled up and asked. Not claiming this embarrassing planet in front of intergalactic travelers, are you dumb?

Seen just now on Reddit:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Trending via Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s: it’s Saturday night so you know what that means, absolutely nothing, go to bed.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You know you’re getting old when you get mad at some random car parked outside your house.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The T in depression stands for the therapy places that are immediately available.

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