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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

The only time your man will surprise you is when you specifically tell him what you want.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

A quick shoutout to all of the sidewalks out there… Thanks for keeping me off the streets.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

You know shit’s about to get real when I put on yoga pants before dessert.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,782

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

Live now on YouTube:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Spotted on WeChat:

I run a parody bank account.

Freshly posted on Slack:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Going viral on Telegram:

Grandparents are there to help the kids get into trouble and teach them stupid things they wouldn’t think of on their own.

Just landed via Snapchat:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I admire how, when babies don’t want to hold something anymore, they just drop it.

Shared recently on Facebook:

A moth flies into your face out of nowhere. You could ask him why he does that, but what would you do with the information?

Trending via YouTube:

My watch battery is fully charged. So I got some time.

Funny terrified quotes

Funny terrified quotes bring laughter to those spine-chilling moments when fear takes center stage 👻😱. They turn shivers into giggles and panic into pure comedy, making even the scariest situations feel a little less spooky and a lot more hilarious 😂🕷️. Ready to face your fears with a grin? Dive into these witty gems that prove being scared can be seriously funny! 🎃💀

New funny terrified quotes 👇

No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

0

2 months ago

better, confrontation, fear, going, honesty, name, people, person, reputation, tell, terrified, trashing, truth
I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

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2 months ago

avoid, avoidance, escalator, fear, humor, joke, phobia, steps, taking, terrified
I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

0

2 months ago

baby, fear, humor, i, irony, know, parents, relationship, terrified, us, wonder
I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

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2 months ago

break, death, fear, game, humor, i, never, streak, terrified, used, winning, Wordle, worry
I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

0

2 months ago

buying, commercial, commercials, humor, i, me, scare, something, terrified, tired, toothpaste, trying, want, wrong

All funny terrified quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

11 shares on Twitch this month:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

13 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

65 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

20 shares on Discord this month:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

93 shares on Twitch this month:

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

84 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

73 shares on Telegram this month:

My budget for this month is a smile, and I don’t know how long that will last.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to my very loose interpretation of ‘functioning adult’.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Shazam but for random noises outside.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,649

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I don’t have a welcome mat at my front door because I’m not a liar.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I wanna stand with you on a mountain and throw you into the sea, or whatever Savage Garden was on about.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Every girl keeps an extra boyfriend and calls him ‘best friend’.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I can’t date until the curse is lifted.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Trending via Messenger:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Making waves on Slack:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’ll let you guys know if the psych ward has wifi.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I can’t believe we became the adults in the most unaffordable period in history.

Just landed via Pinterest:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

No one talks about how uncomfortable it is to ask for your own money back.

Just shared via Facebook:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Just shared via Snapchat:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

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