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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Sharpening a pencil at the bin was the childhood equivalent of taking a cigarette break.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I’m not a 10. I’m more like two 5s held together by cheese and chocolate.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

A pie where there isn’t pastry on the bottom isn’t a pie. It’s soup with a hat.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Weed smokers be like, “Hold up — before we go to the store, I have to get scared.”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

I like how the Tooth Fairy got the job, and then subbed it out to everyone’s parents. That’s called “business savvy.”

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1842 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,004

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,004

10 seconds ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

My brain has too many tabs open.

Breaking via Reddit:

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

Reported on Slack:

Nothing is more fake than my friendliness on the phone at work.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

My step counter doesn’t judge. For him, steps to the fridge are just as valuable as a walk.

Spotted on Slack:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Just landed via Twitch:

Gordon Ramsay is only funny because he’s not talking to me like that.

Just shared via Slack:

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Reported on Telegram:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Making waves on Reddit:

Do people still actually eat 3 meals a day, or do we all just survive off of stress and iced coffee?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When life gives you lemons, give them back and ask what the crap is all about.

Home » Funny Terrified Quotes

Funny terrified quotes

Funny terrified quotes bring laughter to those spine-chilling moments when fear takes center stage 👻😱. They turn shivers into giggles and panic into pure comedy, making even the scariest situations feel a little less spooky and a lot more hilarious 😂🕷️. Ready to face your fears with a grin? Dive into these witty gems that prove being scared can be seriously funny! 🎃💀

New funny terrified quotes 👇

2 days ago
Share →: No one trashes your name better than the person who is terrified that you are going to tell people the truth.

Commentary:
Sounds like they're living in a glass house and throwing shade! 🌪️🤐🕵️‍♂️
5 months ago
Share →: I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Commentary:
"Who said conquering fears had to be a smooth ride? 🙈 Taking the stairs may be a little extra, but hey, at least it keeps you on your toes! 👟😄 #EscalatorPhobia"
6 months ago
Share →: I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Commentary:
"Maybe babies secretly have a 'terrifying human' leaderboard in their cribs, with us at the top spot 🥇! Watch out, parents, the tiny tyrants are onto us!! 👶😱"
6 months ago
Share →: I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Commentary:
"Priorities definitely shift when you're on a winning streak in Wordle! 😂💀 Better solve those clues quickly before Death comes knocking and ruins it all! 🤞🏆 #WordlePriority #DeathVsWordle"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Commentary:
"Who needs comedy when you have the suspense of shopping for toothpaste? 😱 Don't let those sneaky minty flavors trick you – choose wisely or face the consequences! 😬 #ToothpasteTerror"

For even more funny terrified quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny terrified quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1842 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,004

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

12,004

10 seconds ago

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Remember when we were kids and did everything we could to grow up? We were so stupid!

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Thought I was a minimalist, turns out I’m just broke.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

lol is punctuation and LOL is laugh out loud.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Good morning to life’s chaos, where my coffee is the only thing that makes sense!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on TikTok:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Shared recently on Instagram:

In a massage chair at the mall just moaning really loud.

Seen just now on TikTok:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Shared recently on X:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Without freedom of speech we wouldn’t know who the idiots are.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

If you have an old house, but you haven’t got a ghost, you should complain to the estate agent.

Shared recently on Twitch:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Making waves on Messenger:

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

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