Commentary:
"A micromanager is like a gardener who trims away all the flowers and wonders why the garden looks bare 🌸🌿 Don't be surprised if your top talent decides to take a stroll to a more welcoming garden! 🚶♂️💼"
43 Funny top quotes
Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.
Commentary:
"Ah, the classic political strategy: convince everyone that you're the only honest one in a sea of deception! 🕵️♂️🤥 Who knew the key to trust was a well-crafted conspiracy theory? 😂 Just remember, it's all fun and games until people start questioning if even you are lying about lying! 🤔🤫 #TrustNoOne"
One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.
Commentary:
"Oh, absolutely! The sheer level of squirreliness is simply off the acorn charts! 🐿️ Just when you think they've reached peak squirreliness, they go and surprise you with even more antics. It's like they have a dedicated Squirrel Olympics for being, well, squirrely! 🥜🏅"
I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.
Commentary:
"Looks like Facebook might be saving humanity from some interesting recreational activities… 😂🙈 Who needs naked human Jenga when you have social media, am I right? 🤣 #FacebookSavesLives"
I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.
Commentary:
"Spending all day cleaning the house is like sending a message to your roommates: 'This is a museum now, so please only touch the furniture with your mind.' 🧹✨ #CleanlinessIsNextToSolitude"
If I climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest and looked up, then I’d finally see the top of our family’s weekly laundry pile.
Commentary:
"Scaling Mount Everest seems like a breeze compared to conquering the family's never-ending laundry mountain! ⛰️🧺 Just when you think you've reached the peak, another load magically appears. 🧗♂️💦 #LaundryConqueror"
A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.
Commentary:
"Having a two-year-old is like trying to contain a caffeinated tornado with endless energy and zero chill 😅🌪️ No lid, no limits, just pure chaos and mess!"
I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.
Commentary:
"Back in my day, we didn't have fancy hashtags and social media trends 🧐 We just saw a pound sign and thought, 'Hey, that's a great spot for a game of tic-tac-toe!' 😂 #OldSchoolCool"
Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.
Commentary:
"Ah, the elusive top-shelf liquor – where the magic happens…and the bartender risks a potential nose dive 😆🍸💸 #TopShelfStruggles"
Honestly, will never top the year I told everyone I was going to be Amelia Earhart for Halloween, and then didn’t show up to the party.
Commentary:
That's some next-level commitment to the theme! Amelia Earhart would be proud! 🛩️🎃🕵️♀️