Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

Companies post open positions online and then ask you why you applied to them.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

After having received my free sample of winter, I would like to cancel my subscription please.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

I don’t need to touch grass, I need to touch one million dollars cash.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

Call me a glitch, cause I’m definitely messing with your system.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,371

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Seen just now on Discord:

Turns out, “unc” is short for unconstitutional.

Breaking via Telegram:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Freshly posted on Messenger:

November moving quicker than two lesbians who met three days ago.

Spotted on Threads:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Seen just now on Reddit:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Just shared via WeChat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

Live now on Reddit:

(suicidal grindset guy) When I jump, it’s gonna be from the penthouse.

Just shared via Slack:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Breaking via TikTok:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

15 Funny towel quotes

More funny towel quotes 👇

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

3 weeks ago

bath, bath towel, close, even, fluffy, frustration, hate, hotel, humor, i, packing, suitcase, thick, towel, travel
I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

3 weeks ago

am, biweekly, biweekly pay, cooking, DIY, financial, financial struggle, food, humor, i, paper, paper towel, pay, quesadilla, second, struggle, today, towel, week
The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

3 weeks ago

air, air dryer, bathroom, dryer, fact, hands, humor, moment, paper, paper towel, put, realization, struggle, technology, time, towel
Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

3 weeks ago

bed, excuse, humor, i, late, lateness, minutes, procrastination, sat, sorry, staring, towel, wall
I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

3 weeks ago

cooking, cooking fail, drank, everything, fail, garbage, hand, hand towel, humor, i, kitchen, literally, over, right, shoulder, towel, understand, while, why, wine

For even more funny towel quotes, hit next 👇

All funny towel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Slack this month:

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

89 shares on Twitch this month:

Coffee is just goth water.

11 shares on Facebook this month:

If you catch me smiling at you, chances are I am plotting my revenge.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

Call me old, but these days I just get excited to go home and lay down.

53 shares on Discord this month:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

16 shares on Instagram this month:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

55 shares on X this month:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Getting paid 26 times in 365 days is not my destiny.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I composed this post in a way that only the sexy can read it, so congratulations.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Sorry about my behavior as of late. I have plastic in my brain.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Breaking via Discord:

Be the funny, awkward silence breaker you want to see in the world.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Bok Choy is a dope name for a vegetable.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Never quit, unless it’s too hard.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I told you so. Kind regards, your gut feeling.

Trending via TikTok:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Shared recently on X:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Breaking via Snapchat:

I wish I had a pair of skinny genes.

Just shared via Messenger:

Stages of Christmas shopping: 1. There’s plenty of time. 2. Oh no!

Just landed via WeChat:

I just wanna buy $16 worth of a meme coin and sell it for $2.6M two weeks later.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

15 Funny towel quotes

More funny towel quotes 👇

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

All funny towel quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨