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New funny quotes: 9837 this month

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Updated: May 25, 2026

 

 

 

 

93 Funny trust quotes

Funny trust quotes 😂 are the perfect blend of humor and wisdom, offering a chuckle while reminding us of the quirks of human relationships 🤝. These witty gems 💎 capture the delicate dance between faith and skepticism, often revealing truths we didn’t even know we needed to hear. Whether you’re looking to lighten the mood or share a laugh 🤣 with friends, these quotes are sure to hit the right note 🎶 while keeping trust at the heart.

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I don’t get why banks tie pens with strings. We trust them with money, but they can’t trust us with a single pen.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I hate liars, but what I hate more is when they think I’m an idiot and won’t find out the truth.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Before we become friends, could you please sign this NDA.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Some people come into your life to remind you why you don’t wanna let anyone into your life.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Posted onMay 19, 2026

Old people won’t listen to you, but will trust a scam caller with their whole chest.

Posted onMay 18, 2026

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

The problem with relationships these days is you don’t know if you’re the one being cheated on, or cheated with.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

Showing your emotions to the wrong people is like bleeding next to a shark.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I would just go.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Posted onApr 1, 2026

There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Never trust a man that’s good at flirting. He’s had too much practice.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

If a man says “I don’t deserve you,” believe him. Because he is about to show you why.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Posted onMar 31, 2026

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Why trust atoms? Because they’ve never been caught fibbing, just fission.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Posted onMar 30, 2026

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