Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Free marriage tip: Don’t ask your wife when dinner will be ready while she is mowing the lawn.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

There are too many movies about vampire hunters and not enough about vampire gatherers.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

This generation of men makes celibacy so easy for women.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

My signature move is to tell men that I can’t hear them because I have my headphones in when I quite visibly don’t have headphones in.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Lou Read is the name of my favorite musician and also the book I keep in the toilet.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

My husband and I fell in love at first sight. Maybe I should have taken a second look.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Pro tip: Invest in pasta companies. Worth every penne.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

My children are very helpful. For example, when I ask them to do something, they suggest a different child that could do it instead.

Just landed via Slack:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Establish dominance by eating a salad in front of your indoor plants.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Dude, we’re biting off more than we can chew tonight if you want to pull up.

Trending via Telegram:

Body by sandwich.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

Just landed via Messenger:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Home » Funny Tweeting Quotes

Funny tweeting quotes

Funny tweeting quotes 🐦😂 bring a burst of laughter to your feed, turning everyday moments into shareable smiles! Whether you’re scrolling through endless tweets or crafting your own witty lines, these gems add just the right sprinkle of humor 🌟💬. Ready to brighten your timeline and lighten your mood? Let’s dive into the world where words meet wit and chuckles are guaranteed! 🎉📲

New funny tweeting quotes 👇

For even more funny tweeting quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny tweeting quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

51 minutes ago

Users Online

3,460

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Realizing this yogurt I’m eating is more active and cultured than I am.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

There are two types of people in politics. Avoid them.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Being a parent means hearing a noise at 3 a.m. and hoping it’s just a ghost and not your toddler getting up again.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

What if AirPods had tongues and they started licking the inside of your ears to indicate they’re low on battery?

Making waves on Messenger:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I took the first step towards cleaning out my closet today. I went in there and looked it over good.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Spotted on YouTube:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Seen just now on Threads:

The horror: “Come on, I’ll introduce you to everyone.”

Just landed via Instagram:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Just landed via Snapchat:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴